You're a Monster | Chenji

LVII

'I promise you Chenle is perfectly fine. Taeyong kept his promise and since the human wasn't troublesome he was returned safely. Don't worry about him.' Said Doyoung, partly relieving Jisung's concerns. 'I'm saying that just so that you don't get mad at Taeyong, not for you to go search for him once again and kick yourself back to the starting point.'

'I agree with Doyoung, if you go back to Chenle, everything we've been through because of him will be for nothing.' Jaemin intervened.

Jisung knew they were right. The results of loving a human like Chenle only brought disastrous consequences. His heart got broken several times, and Chenle stepped on the remaining pieces one by one with every 'I hate you', with every 'you're a monster', with every cold gaze and every rejection. He couldn't help but ask himself

Why does he hate me so much after I did all that for him? Why do I still love him after he did all that to me?

He killed Chanyeol once. And now Baekhyun is heartbroken because he lost all his memories when he came back to life.

He tried to kill me, several times. And I'm still crying over him.

He tried to kill my friends. And they kept him safe because of me.

Is he really worth all of this?

Or maybe...

Maybe I should give up on him. Shouldn't I?

He's just a human, in the end, isn't he?

He... He isn't that unique, is he?

There's plenty of guys with a nice voice, right?

There's plenty of guys with a bright personality, right?

There's plenty of guys with a contagious, dolphin-like laugh, right?

There's plenty of guys with a charming smile, right?

I will eventually find a guy who makes me feel butterflies in the stomach too, right?

I will eventually find someone else who will enlighten my day just by seeing him smile, right?

I will eventually find someone who loves me back, right?

I will eventually-

'Jisung, are you listening to us?' Jaemin interrupted his thoughts.

'I... S-sorry...' He apologized for zoning out.

'It's fine.' Doyoung assured him. 'What I was saying is that you have a lot of other options. You're tall, handsome and young. You're nice when you want to and have a cute smile. Who wouldn't fall for you? I know a girl-'

'I'm gay.'

'Oh- Right, I forgot... Well, I have a friend who has a friend who is single. His name is Felix, he's Australian but is very fluent in Korean.'

Jisung's brows furrowed.

'Is his surname Lee?'

'Yeah, how did you know?'

'He's Chenle's childhood best friend...' Jisung groaned in frustration. Why does everything remind him of Chenle? Does the world revolve around that human or..?

'Well, uhm... Jaemin, help me think of someone.' Doyoung quietly begged the other vampire. Since Jisung only liked guys, about half of the people he knew were discarded. He didn't want Jisung to date someone who was twice his age (although he himself was doing so) nor half his age because that would be illegal. His brain started to hurt from squeezing it so hard to think of someone.

'Let's see... Guys I know... Renjun and Jeno are mine, Shotaro went back to Japan a few weeks ago and won't come back soon, Jaehyun and Taeyong are with Doyoung, Minseok is older than Jisung's father, Yuta is dead and also Chenle's ex, Sungchan is too tall, Luhan is straight, Donghyuck is with Mark, Wooyoung is still in the closet, Changbin hates everyone who's over 1'80, Johnny hasn't gottten over his ex yet, my cousin came out as trans last week so she's not an option, Jisung has the same name as Jisung and it would be weird for Jisung to date Jisung-'

'What about Jungwoo?' Doyoung's eyes lit up as he had that idea.

'Jungwoo???' Jisung asked.

'Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea.' Added Jaemin. 'He's a vampire too so we make sure he doesn't hate you for being one, he's cute and makes everyone uwu, there isn't a huge age gap between you two, he's single and we know he isn't secretly fucking anyone, he likes tall guys and you already know him so you don't have to go through an awkward first date!'

Doyoung and Jaemin high fived proudly as Jisung stayed silent and speechless.

Jungwoo... and me?

He was totally unconvinced and he didn't really like the idea, but his two friends looked so excited and proud of their idea and he didn't want to upset them.

'I... I'll give it a try.'

Today, I, Park Jisung, officially give up on Chenle.

'How... How did you let them hurt Yukhei like that, Yangyang?!' Chenle grabbed the older by the collar, though his grip wasn't as strong as he thought.

'I... I'm sorry...'

'Yukhei is like a brother to me, and I thought he was like a brother to you too!'

'He was, but-'

'But you still let Dejun lock him up.'

'Chenle, understand he's not a human anymore!'

'So what?!'

'What do you mean 'so what'?! Did you forget our job is literally to kill vampires?!'

Those words made Chenle shut up. Yangyang was right, they had sworn they would never hesitate to kill a vampire no matter their gender, age or emotional attachment.

'But... Yukhei...'

'I... I don't want it either, you know? I'm not the monster you accuse me of being. I love Yukhei like a brother, but... I can't betray my principles, can I? You think I haven't tried to talk to Dejun, to Kun, to Chittaphon, I've tried everything! But they aren't going to change their minds.' Yangyang said, desperation evident in his voice.

'Never thought THE Liu Yangyang wouldn't be able to convince someone.' Chenle said jokingly, in an attempt to raise the mood slightly.

'Me neither... They... You know how stubborn Kun is. His beliefs are stone hard, I can't argue with him no matter how many reasons I give him. Chittaphon is an expert in persuasion, it's impossible to win an argument against him. I thought I could convince Dejun to be less harsh on Yukhei, but I couldn't find a dust of compassion in his eyes. And Kunhang and Sicheng pretend not to hear me every time I bring the topic up...' He sighed. 'I think it's better if we give up and just consider him dead. We knew from the start any of us could die when we least expected it.'

Chenle curled up in a ball and hid his face, shaking his head to show Yangyang his disapproval.

'No... I don't want to lose Yukhei...'

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