The Desires of The Heart

Darkness Descends

A couple weeks later I attempt to see if Bella is willing to hang out with me, partly to see how she's doing, but partly because my dad wants me to check on her. I haven't really seen her around in a while, which is nice since she's no longer moping around the house or having the night terrors.  Jasper says they still really haven't heard from Edward and so they are all just sitting around waiting for what to do next, and that isn't very uplifting. Enjoying my coffee at the breakfast table, I place my phone face down when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and I mentally prepare myself to talk with my sister.

"Good morning Bella." I smile slightly and she stops, turning to look at me with a blank face taking me by a slight surprise.

"How are you so okay?" She blurts out and I have no idea what she means.

"What?"

"Didn't he leave you too?" She snarls and her face changes as well, and I can tell she's catching on to how I reacted to the Cullen's leaving, and I guess I should've been more careful..

"I'm sorry? I--"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Jasper also left with him. How are you so okay?"

"Bella you don't understand—"

"I do. You've somehow got a way to talk to him or them or whatever. That's why you're still okay, still going about like nothing changed. So don't try to pity me, because you really don't know what it's like."

She then storms out of the house, leaving me absolutely speechless only being shaken by the sound of the door slamming. If only she knew that my heart knows all too well what it is she is going through, and I've been there before. I shake my head sadly before my anger flares slightly, she had no reason to act like that when all I was doing was just trying to see how she was doing. Hopefully Dad doesn't ask how it went, cuz I don't think I'll be able to attempt to help her again.

I spend the rest of my morning working on some self care, reading a little and starting to paint when my phone suddenly starts buzzing and I see my Dad's face flash on the screen.

"Hi Dad." I answer feeling better until I hear the somber tone in his voice. 

"Hey, Sophie." I immediately sit up from my lounging position knowing something is bothering my dad, as I've not heard him this downcast in a very long time.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I hear a tired sigh before he responds.

"Can you head to the Clearwater's house? Harry had a heart attack... and sweetheart, he didn't make it." I gasp in surprise not expecting to hear that today, and my heart hurts for my dad because Harry was a good friend, but it also aches for the rest of the Clearwater family as I couldn't possibly know what it's like to lose my dad.

"Sure dad, of course! Is there anything I can bring with me?" I quickly gather my stuff and my keys, locking the door behind me as I run to my car.

"I think we'll be okay hunny, but thank you. I'll see you in a bit. Love you Squirt."

"Love you too Dad." 

He hangs up and I toss my phone into the passenger seat of my car, and pull out of the driveway and if it wasn't for my dad being police chief I probably could've gotten pulled over for how fast I was going. I pull in front of the small house seeing a multitude of trucks including my fathers, and slamming my car in park, I hurry inside. The house is doused in a dark, sad, and somber feeling and my heart breaks all over again as I quickly find my father talking quietly with Billy Black and Sue Clearwater, and I slowly make my way over.

"Hi Dad."

 I say with a small, sad smile before turning to Sue and embracing her in a hug just as tight as hers, she sends a gentle smile in my direction and I know words aren't needed in this moment. I move to hug Billy and my father and I can tell Charlie isn't really handling this well, but he's putting on a good front for me and for the Clearwaters--my dad, always having to be the strong one. I look around for Seth and Leah, knowing my friends will need comfort even if Leah is pretending to be okay. 

"They're out back." Sue says softly noticing my wandering glances and I smile slightly, squeezing her hand before I head in the direction through the crowd of Quiluietes that have come to pay Harry and his family respect. I find Seth first, sitting on the steps of the deck facing out towards the forests, but his eyes are more distant, living in another moment.

"Hi bud." I say gently and I watch as his eyes slowly refocus and turn to look at me, seeing recognition he suddenly throws his arms around me engulfing me in a warm hug as I feel him break down in my arms. I wrap my arms around him tightly, and once again I know there's nothing I can say and just hold him as he grieves. A bit of time passes before he leans away a bit to dry his eyes, and he attempts a small smile but it turns into a watery grimace and I reassure him with my own small smile.

"Thank you Sophia. I---I really needed that."

"Any time Seth. I know it's not much, but I want to be able to help. In any way I can." He nods with a sniffle before giving me another secure hug.

"Leah's in the forest, if you don't mind checking on her."

"I was going there next. I'll be around, alright?" He nods grateful as I stand up and slowly make my way to the tree line, hoping Leah won't lash out too much.

"Lee?"I call gently throughout the trees, and she doesn't respond but I hear a sniffle and head in that direction. "Leah?" I finally find her, with her forehead resting against the trunk of a tree who's bark looks like it's been stripped in places and that's when I notice the blood on her knuckles and I know this is hitting her harder than anyone would've expected. I don't say anything else as I approach her, slowly bringing her into a hug in which she just collapses and we both sit on the forest floor as she cries in my arms.

"I wasn't... I wasn't ready Soph. He's my dad. He was, was supposed to be the strong one. But now what am I to do if he's gone? How can I be strong for my mom? For Seth? He's gone, Soph. He's gone..." 

I cradle her tighter, trying to push back my own tears not ever hearing my friend be so broken, and we sit like this until she hugs me back and we get up and head to the house. She finds her brother and they go to help Sue, so I scan the crowd looking for my father, but also looking for Jake noticing he hasn't been here at all tonight, and his dad was close to Harry like mine. It was weird.. He should be here. I realize I left my phone in the car so I can't text him, so I just focus on those that are here and support them as much as I can in their time of need.