The Desires of The Heart

The Differences

That night, we head to our bedroom after the scan just wanting to live in this bliss, the two of us, a little longer and know we will have to tell the others soon, as they'll be able to hear it. Carlisle was able to print off the small picture of the little bean growing in my belly, and I haven't been able to look away since he handed it to me. Jasper brings me into his embrace, kissing the top of my head, before also looking at the image.

"Can you believe this is actually happening?" He mutters quietly.

"No. In our other life, I wanted nothing more than this. Today I was okay knowing that in this life, we wouldn't get this chance, not in the traditional sense anyways...but for some reason we've been given this opportunity, this piece of our old life. And I just can't wrap my mind around it."

"I honestly never expected it, even after the chance of it happening with your sister.." He walks away from me and sits on the bed to which I follow him, snuggling into his side, yawning as my exhaustion catches up to me.

"I'm worried it'll have some sort of complication because it isn't natural, I'll be honest about that."

"I'm worried too Jasper. Especially watching what's happening with Bella, but it's already different in the progress and development. I have to believe it'll be alright. Otherwise I could crumble." I say strongly, conveying my worry, fear, and a little bit of excitement of what's next.

"We have to just hope the universe knew what it was doing and will therefore finish what it decided to start."

He pulls me into his side, wrapping me tightly in his solid arms and even though I'm worried, I feel a sense of peace envelope us and I know things will be fine.

~~

A few weeks have passed and Bella is progressing faster than any of us thought possible, and we've all began to notice the strain it is taking on her body. She keeps a cheery disposition though and believes she will survive both carrying and birthing this baby and none of us want to call her out on this delusion. That is until Jake shows up one day and if anyone can try to talk my sister out of her plans it's him.

"What are you thinking Bella? Seriously?" He exclaims frustrated.

"I know this seems like a scary thing, but it's not. It's like this miracle or something. I can feel him." She caresses her distended and bruised belly and it almost makes me cringe.

She sounds completely crazy.

"So it's a bouncing baby boy." He replies, thick with sarcasm. "I didn't know or else I would've brought some balloons."

"It's just a guess. When I picture him, I see a boy. We'll see."

"You won't."

My eyes widen at Jake's bluntness, although it doesn't surprise me. I also hear his hurt and I don't understand why he continues to torture himself with caring for Bella, when she doesn't return the sentiment.

"Jake I can do this. I'm strong enough." I cringe not knowing how true her words will be, having this terrible feeling in my gut.

"You can spout that crap to your bloodsucker all day long, but you don't fool me. I can see it killing you Bella."

"You're wrong."

Jake stands up shaking his head giving a small monologue about if any of it was ever worth it, and yet Bella still believes she can have it all and live through it. Jake leaves with what seem to be his final words to Bella, and my heart aches for him. He deserved so much better than what my sister gave him, and it's so sad she still can't let him move on from it.

Pulling a ginger candy from my pocket, I place it in my mouth for the nausea and at the same time I feel a tug on my bond telling me Jasper has arrived back from hunting. I'll see how he feels and what he thinks about telling Charlie about our news.

"Hello Darling." He plants a kiss on my forehead making me smile up at him, and a small part of me almost feels guilty for feeling this amount of happiness, almost.

"How was your run?" I noticed early on in our relationship how he would almost be embarrassed for having to hunt and so I started referring to it as something more human, and the change in his attitude has been positive.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. How are you feeling?"

"A little sick, but I took something for it and am feeling a little better. Jake was here, that was a doozy of a conversation to hear.."

"I can imagine he wouldn't be doing well with this." I just shake my head, still feeling terrible for my childhood friend.

"What do you think about going and seeing Charlie? I've been missing him and I feel it could help him relax about not seeing Bella?" He smiles at the idea and my heart feels lighter.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. I don't ever want you to feel like we can't ever go and see your dad."

I'm truly lucky Jasper doesn't want to hide us away and that we can go see Charlie often and travel, eventually, outside of Forks. I was worried I'd feel like a prisoner, always in this house because nobody wanted to risk their secret coming out. And I totally understand how important it is to keep hidden. But if Jasper is comfortable doing some human things for my sake, I believe our forever will be exciting and ever changing.