The Desires of The Heart

Becoming An Unknown

+Sorry this chapter is so late... I had my son in July and it's been a whirlwind trying to adjust.. I hope you all enjoy!+

It didn't take long for Carlisle's testing to come back inconclusive, but also confirming, when nothing was able to penetrate her uterus... Carlisle had to rely on hoping the blood test was accurate seeing as no ultrasound would work. No one in the house has seen Edward since their grand entrance several hours ago, and poor Esme is worried so Emmett volunteers to go and find him. Jasper and I continue to sit with Alice as she continues to filter through the future, looking for Bella and any sort of outcome for this whole situation. She shakes her head and I feel her despair and fear for Bella and the rest of the family.

I watch as Alice continues to look forward, and suddenly her eyes widen before connecting with mine and I feel my stomach suddenly tie in knots. Before either of us can say anything, Carlisle returns downstairs as does Edward and the tension returns.

"Isn't there a way you can get rid of it." Edward grits out and I'm honestly shocked at the hostility and hate present in his voice.

"Not without bringing harm to Bella. She has a say in all this Edward. You cannot make a choice like this without—"

"She's not thinking straight. Carlisle, this thing could kill her for all we know. Do we even have time to waste?"

"You were just going to make the call, without even hearing my thoughts..." Bella enters the room and the tension and pain is palpable, and suddenly my heart aches for my sister. Edward doesn't even look in her direction, and nobody should be in a situation like this, even if it was of their choosing. I'm realizing more now, just how toxic and unhealthy my sister's relationship has been and progressed into.

Carlisle offers to take them up to his office for a more private space to have this discussion, but Bella denies it, not wanting to speak to her husband in this moment and she's set with her decision. She makes her way into Rose's room, and the room is silent once again none of us knowing what to do next, or how this will play out.

A few days pass and the house hasn't gotten any less tense, especially as we watch Bella's pregnancy progress faster than we had thought further proving just how supernatural this will be. She has quickly started to show, in such a short amount of time, and everyone has decided to cover the story with a sickness. Saying she is sick and that's why she hasn't seen Charlie since being home, but our dad is smart..he's gonna see through this the longer they keep it going. Not to mention..it isn't fair for them to keep him in the dark when he is obviously so worried, and to make me lie to my father hurts more than I thought possible.

Due to being blindsided by Bella's predicament, I had forgotten the very thing I was going to talk to Jasper about and yet now I'm unsure whether I'm right.. I don't want to cause anymore unnecessary stress. I think I might keep it to myself for a little while longer, just in case... My phone pings, breaking me from my thoughts, and I see a text from my dad and my heart sinks.

Daddio: Have you seen or heard from Bella? She's saying she caught a bug from her honeymoon..but something doesn't seem right...and I'm worried.

Squirt: She's been quarantined in her bedroom since coming home, so I haven't seen her. Carlisle is doing all he can in order to help her.

God. I hate lying to him...

It isn't a complete lie, because I have seen her, but until we know how this ends..he can't know the truth. I understand it's to keep him safe, especially from the Volturi, but Charlie could keep the secret especially if it would allow him to continue to see his children. Also if he ever finds out about the wolves, seeing as his friends are all a part of that secret, he'd put pieces together. Yet I've promised not to say anything..to play along with Bella's story and just hope everything will turn out alright.

I'm broken from my thoughts as my husband enters our room, a smile gracing his features as he looks at me causing me to smile in return.

"Would you be up for getting out of the house for a little while?" He asks, making my heart leap in excitement.

"I would love nothing more!"

I jump up from the bed making him chuckle, throwing my phone in my purse and throwing on one of Jasper's pullovers. We make our way downstairs, through the tense atmosphere, and hop in a car all the while feeling giddy at the idea of some time away. If I'm mentally and emotionally drained from being in that house, I can only imagine how Jasper has been feeling.

"I figured we could head to Port Angeles for dinner and maybe a movie or something, just give ourselves some time to each other." He runs his thumb over my thumb and I smile at our interlocked hands.

"That sounds wonderful Love. How are you feeling?" He sighs, looking at me before looking back to the road. I watch his profile shift while trying to pinpoint emotions.

"Overwhelmed? Tense? And the worse part is, not all of these are my own emotions.." He shrugs and I feel terrible for him..I feel such a small amount of these emotions compared to him, I could only imagine.

"I'm sorry Hun. I wish I could help lighten the load for you."

"Having you with me makes it tolerable. And getting away for a while should help too."

We smile at each other, and he slows down turning into a parking lot, and I forget just how fast he drives sometimes. We've gone to a local seafood restaurant, and my stomach suddenly growls–not realizing how hungry I was until we got here. Jasper opens my door, taking my hand to help me out and we head inside.

"Reservation for Whitlock."

I'm shocked at the ease in which he uses his original surname, and it makes my heart flutter. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of being a Cullen, but Jasper and I met while he was a Whitlock and that's more meaningful to me. That's why I'll take that name, every day.

"How are you doing with everything?" He asks and I sigh, not even knowing where to begin.

"I don't even know how I feel. I admit, I'm worried for my sister, especially since we don't know how this will end.. but once again, Bella is the center of everyone's attention and anything else is undermined and pushed aside." I run a hand over my hair in frustration, not realizing how much this had affected me subconsciously.

"Is there something else going on? Is it what was bothering you a couple weeks ago?"

I remember now that I was going to talk to him a couple weeks ago about what was going on with me, what was happening with the transition. Although now I'm worried that with everything that's gone on with Bella, this can cause him to worry and cause unnecessary stress or more drama... Yet my situation seems different from my sister's so that makes me hopeful...

"Jasper..I don't know for sure what is happening... I thought it might be something to do with transitioning , but the last couple weeks have validated it and I'm sure now, yet there's still so much unknown."

He continues to watch me, giving me the time I need to put my words in order. I feel a wave of calm come over me, and I'm thankful for it as the anxiety was getting the better of me. Taking a deep breath, I hope this doesn't turn ugly, and before I can chicken out I blurt what's been on my mind for weeks...

"Jasper... I think I'm pregnant."