The Desires of The Heart

Someone Else's Memories

"Sophia? What are you doing here?"

The surprise and distaste in Bella's tone didn't go unnoticed, and I had to resist glaring at my lovely sister. I feel Jasper grasp my hand, and my anger with my sister dissipates slightly.

"I'm here to meet everyone. You must be Edward?" I deflect Bella's question and smile kindly at Edward, not missing Rosalie's snort of laughter behind us.

"Sophia." He nods tensely, eyes flashing to Jasper quickly. "It's uh, nice to meet you." He smiles tightly before looking back at Jasper and shaking his head.

Could you be any more obvious?

My head snaps back to Jasper, seeing his stern look towards his brother, and I'm tempted to question him, but I really don't need Bella to know of the strange happenings going on in my mind. Jasper just smiles down at me as Edward turns to introduce Bella to the surrounding Cullen's, and Jasper gently tugs my hand and quietly leads me away.

"Where are we going?" I whisper with a smile as he leads me up the grand staircase.

"I'm going to give you a grand tour of the house." His smirk present causes me to giggle slightly, and I attempt and fail to cover it from him with my hand.

He smiles widely as he walks along side me, describing what secrets each door holds behind it, and tells the stories behind each piece of beautiful art on the wall.

"Graduation caps?" I laugh slightly looking at the large frame on the wall.

"Yeah... It's kind of our inside joke." He rubs at the back of his neck, and I decide to inspect them closer.

"Just how old are you?" I ask boldly, deciding on a whim while raising a brow, watching Jasper breathe a laugh.

"19." I give him a deadpan look, with a quick ha-ha making him smile lightly. "I'm 164 give or take a couple years. You lose track after a while." He simply shrugs, and my eyes widen slightly on their own accord.

"Wow." I whisper before turning to him, with a snarky reply. "Well if it's any consolation, you don't look a day over 25." I say with a snigger as his eyes widen and shock covers his face.

"25?! Please, I still pass as a high schooler. And what would that say about you? You apparently are into older men."

He says with a wink as he suddenly flashes in front of me surprising a loud laugh from me as he wraps his arms around me, my heart beat quickening at the sudden change.

"What can I say, they have a certain charm about them."

We laugh together as he brushes a stray piece of hair behind my ear, causing me to blush, thinking that he might just kiss me before he suddenly turns away. I push down the slight disappointment as I follow along as he brings me to yet another door, one he pauses in front of before grabbing my hand again.

"This is my room."

He says shyly, opening the door and I follow inside, to see a wide space shining in natural light from the far wall which is made entirely from glass. I begin to wander and look around, noticing all the small details, learning more about the man standing at my side.

He ends up leaving me to explore, when I stumbles upon a couple old-looking pin medallions. Moving closer to get a better look, I notice that they're war metals, dating all the back to the American Civil War, and I can't help myself but pick one up.

"Major Whitlock, how formal."

I suddenly hear a voice, realizing I'm no longer in Jasper's room, and turn to find the owner of the voice.. The girl is about my height, same brown hair and that's when my heart drops. Myself? H-How..? And is that...Jasper?

Her southern accent twangs as she fixes the lapels of Jasper's grey uniform, a sad smile on her beautiful face.

"I'll be back before you know I'm gone, darlin'. Don't you worry." Jasper looks at this girl–this version of myself, and I can see he's trying to hide his own sadness while consoling hers.

I gasp in surprise, seeing that it's the same Jasper that's standing in front of me now, and it's even myself just minus the accent...? How can this girl look exactly like me, and yet this was almost two hundred years ago?

"You fought in the Civil War?" I mumble once I fully come back to the present, looking down at the metals again.

"Um..yeah, I did."

He nervously rubs at his neck as I lift up another metal to find an old picture underneath. I gaze at the worn photo, before dropping it as if it had burnt me, looking at Jasper in disbelief.

"Who is this?" I question, confusion and possible recognition coloring my voice, and he seems to close his eyes in weary pain. "Why does she look just like me?"

"That—" He sighs, tussling his hair, seeming like he doesn't want to have this discussion quite yet. "Her name was Scarlette Harris. She was my betrothed during my Civil War time."

He says resigned, and I stare harder at the picture, trying to fathom how I can be staring at myself some two hundred years ago.

"Miss Harris, please. Your father requires an audience with you."

I hear a new voice this time, but am unable to move, and I quickly realize I'm in the body of my former self, and am in-tuned with her emotions and current thoughts. 

Thomas opens the door to the garden, he's been searching all day but he knows this is where I've spent most of my time since hearing the news. I was heartbroken, just as anyone would be when getting the news their love has died in the war, but my father is insistent on trying and failing to find me a new suitor, not wanting "his only daughter to be unwed", but Im not having any of it.

"Thomas, I've told you and my father, his attempts on another betrothal are futile. Mr. Whitlock is gone, and I do not intend to marry another."

"Mr. Whitlock?"

I gasp out looking at Jasper who's eyes widen as I call him by his old name. I stumble slightly, my mind mixed and jumbled with memories and feelings that aren't all mine, fighting with what I know to be true in this time.

I suddenly become overwhelmed, and I feel as though the walls are surrounding me and the room is getting too small, not even hearing when Jasper calls out to me as he steadies my uneasy form. He's taken aback when I look at him with so many emotions crossing my face no doubt recognition, confusion, fear, and loss as those are the strongest ones I'm feeling now.

"I–I'm sorry. I—I have to go."

I stutter out as I quickly escape from his embrace, walking quickly down the stairs, making sure to avoid the others, and heading straight out the door as fast as my legs could carry me.