The Desires of The Heart

Staying

As I wait anxiously in the coffee shop for Jasper, I try to remember if there was any other reason why I came this far from home when Bella just decided to up and leave Charlie with just a sticky note explanation. Nothing is coming to mind and it's frustrating because Jasper seemed so sure that this wasn't my own idea, and now I'm questioning everything. I get a sudden influx of emotions and know it's Jasper and he's finally here. I get up and meet him at the door and he envelopes me in a tight hug, I feel worry radiate from him and it makes me think this is worse than I originally thought.

"I'm so glad you're okay Soph." He murmurs before pulling away and looking my face over.

"I really don't know why you're so upset, but I'm glad you're here." I saw with a slight smile, just glad to see him even if I don't quite understand how I got here.

"You really don't remember anything?" I shake my head and he sighs, looking down finally noticing the angry red marks on my wrists and I feel him tense. "How did this happen?" I look into his eyes and I know he is upset with himself that this even happened to me, and it makes me not want to say that I have no idea how those marks got there.

He simply nods before grasping my hand gently, and helping me up from the table leading me outside to the car he drove on the way here. Opening my door for me, I get in and wait in the tense silence before he makes his way around the car and starting it up, the warm air from the heating making me more comfortable. We begin the drive back in silence, me not knowing what to say and I think Jasper is trying to wrap his head around everything. 

"Are you angry with me?" I can't help but ask in a small voice.

"Why would I be angry with you?" The shock evident in his voice as he looks from the road to me with an incredulous look.

"Because I can't remember anything? I'm not very helpful in trying to figure out what happened..." I trail off not really knowing anything else to say.

"Sophia, I want you to know, really know, that I'm not upset with you. I am overjoyed that you are alright and whatever might have happened didn't hurt you too much, and that I was able to bring you back home. I wasn't sure what happened and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see you for who knows how long." He squeezes my hand in comfort and I smile feeling his truth and knowing the unknown for him was worse than me not knowing why I was in Seattle.

The trip to Forks was quick, and Jasper stops at my house causing me to give him a confused look. I would've thought he would want to hang since he was finally back in town. He simply winks before nodding towards the door, and I guess I better go see how my father is doing hoping he didn't think I left too.. Making sure to keep my wrists covered, I walk in to Charlie watching tonights game from his chair, setting his drink down as he sees me come through the door.

"How ya doing Squirt?" He says with a lazy smile making me grin at the childhood name.

"Oh, I'm alright, just tired from the day. How are you dad?" He grunts out a fine, and I kiss the top of his head saying I'm headed to bed, my actual exhaustion finally hitting me. I take a deep breath before opening my bedroom door, my anxiety starting to swirl in my stomach for some strange reason, but seeing Jasper sat at the end of my bed causes it to go away.

"How did you get up here?" I breath a laugh as I shut the door quietly behind me and he smiles with a small nod towards my window.

"I'll admit, I found your scent soaked on this window." I raise a brow because I find the wording weird, and if he could blush I feel like he would've been in this moment.

"I guess that kind of makes sense...?" I drift off into a question, as we both kind of chuckle at what was being said aloud.

"I know it sounds weird, but that is the easiest way for me to describe it without sounding creepy or somethin'." I plop on the bed beside him, smiling at him just happy to finally be in his presence again after another long couple months apart and it makes me wonder how things will change since Bella is going after Edward currently.

"How long do you get to stay this time?" I question after a moment of comfortable silence and I worry briefly about his response.

 "I think it might be safe to say, with Edward's current decisions, that we might be returning sooner rather than later. He's proven he cannot live without Bella, and so it only makes the most sense to bring him back. And from what you told me, it seems Bella would benefit from that as well."

"I have to agree with you. There was time where I wasn't sure if Bella was going to remain safe in her room or if she was going to try and harm herself in some way, and I felt a little helpless because she wouldn't let any of us in." He nods to my words agreeing that the situation was just a whole mess from the very beginning .

"And Edward has just shown the rest of us his ultimate hand, and I know Carlisle won't let Edward harm himself like this and Alice sees him too much as a brother that she will also help in anyway. I believe Carlisle will override any selfish tendencies of Edward's from now on." 

For the rest of the evening we just enjoy each other's company talking lightly about what has happened since the last time we saw each other and how things will be different once he's able to come home and what that could look like for our relationship. I'm both nervous and excited to see what this next season will bring, and just how much we will be able to grow in this time.