Touch Of Terror

35 : Justice

(Note: You can play the song, safe and sound by Taylor Swift for better reading!)

Before Sirius walked down in my room I already had an image in my head as to what her bedtime would be: a hot chocolate with a funny story, together with her favorite doll. But this time, she does not bring her favorite book, she does not also want a chocolate drink. She just wants something from me.

A song. A lullaby, to make her fall asleep.

I let out a heavy sigh, she isn't the type to wind down slowly. This is the battle that I just can't win. She is always energetic, which is why I did not have any other choice. But to select a song to play. Tig isa kami ngayon ng earphone na nakapasak sa tenga. Excited siyang nakangiti sa akin. Malalim na ang gabi pero ang sigla sigla niya pa rin.

I can't sing, baka imbis na matulog ay tumawa pa ito sa boses ko. Masyadong pilya, hindi ko alam kung saan nagmana.

The song started playing, she hugged her ugly doll. Kaunting makeover na lamang ata ay magiging kamukha na ito ni annabelle. Kinumutan ko na rin siya,

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

I stroked her hair slowly, she is the most important piece of my heart right now. Ngumiti siya sa akin kaya nilakihan ko siya ng mata. Agad siyang pumikit pero kitang kita ko na may kaunting siwang pa rin sa mata niya para silipin ako. Napailing na lamang ako.

I would do everything for you Siri, We will sail onwards together... even if you grew up, even if you already have a courage to sail the ocean alone. I will promise that when the time comes that we are already on a different boat, already chasing a different path. And slowly growing apart. I will still be your sister and you will always be my star...

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

She yawned, pero agad naputol iyon nang may marinig kaming malakas na kalabog mula sa ibaba. Rinig na rinig namin iyon, sunod sunod na pagbasag. Tumingin siya sa akin nang may pag aalala. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.

Biglaang binalot ng kaba ang sistema ko. I feel like my chest is being too tight. It was too tight that it might carry me into another world, to the place that I am afraid to return.

To that dark place... this feeling... this breakdown is so long ago. I am one of the lucky one to survived. I am now a different person but why would I experienced the same emotion I felt during that time...

It's happening again. I need to composed myself. I am sweating and I am breathing rapidly. I heard her small voice, doon lamang ako bumalik sa ulirat. Agad kong kinuha ang nasa itaas ng drawer ko. Anxiety pills. Agad ko iyon ininom. Napakapit ako sa lamesa at tsaka dahan dahan na huminga.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby even when the musics gone, gone

I padded across the room in my pajamas, nangangatog pa rin ako pero kinakailangan kong kumilos. I parted the curtains, and watched the heavy rain that keeps on pouring, pinaliit ko ang mga mata ko at nakita ko ang ilang mga taong pumapalibot sa aming bahay. Agad akong umatras. Binalot ako ng takot hindi para sa sarili ko kung hindi para sa kapatid ko.