Confessions

Chapter 35

Matthews P.O.V~

I'm such a fuck up. I'm such a fucking fuck up. I think too myself, as I lay on my bed at 3:00 in the morning. Why, why me? How could I be so selfish, she's gone I let her slip from my hands. Just like that. Snap of a finger. I hate myself, god I hate myself so Fucking much. I knew I wasn't the one for her, I knew I couldn't be there for her when she needed me too. I'm so stupid. I slap my hand against my head over and over again. Did she already have some I'm mind that she wanted to date? God I hope not, if I saw her with another man I don't know what I would do. Kill him My subconscious tells me. That's true. I don't know what I will do when I see her. Maybe apologize again? I know that won't work, but what am I supposed to do with out her? What if I can't ever hold her in my arms ever again? What if I Never get to see that beautiful smile that lays upon her face. The thought of that makes my heart stop.

I grab my phone, and scroll through a bunch of pictures of her. I took one of them when she wasn't looking and snapped it. She looked so beautiful with her long brown hair. It's only been a few hours since we broke up and I already miss her. Does she miss me? Probably not, she is the one who broke up with me. Why can't I just, be good for her what is hard about that? I ask my self for the millionth time before I fall asleep.

*Next morning~

Maddie's P.O.V~

I woke up the next morning feeling awful. I don't even want to get out of bed. I don't want to face anyone today, I know everyone Is going to kill me for breaking up with matt. I force myself out of bed, got dressed and did my makeup. I didn't feel like dressing up let alone go to school so I just grab some jeans and a white t-shirt. Should I even bother going to school? I feel like it would be a bad idea if I do, of course it will. But then if I don't, people will think that I am being ridiculous, but since when do they don't?

I just decide to go anyway. I can do this, just ignore everyone there. I'm not scared, I can do this. I thought to my self even though I was clearly wrong. My phone goes off with a text from Emma.

*Hey do you want me to pick you up?

It would be better than taking the bus, and having to deal will everyone.

*Sure, thank you

I walk to the front of my house, and wait for Emma too pull up. What will happen when I get there? Will matt hate me? Of course he hates me now. Will he ignore me? Will I want him to ignore me? My thought are interrupted by Emma pulling up, and honking her horn. I get up and head towards her car an jump in.

"Good morning." She beams.

"Good morning." I say putting on my seatbelt.

"You all right?" She questions.

"Yea, well I will be." I laugh.

"Well ill be here for you, you can always talk to me." She says putting her hand on my shoulder. I smile as strong as I can and give her a nod.
She pulls out of the drive way, and drives too school.

"So what are you going to do when you get there?" She asks.

"I don't know." I shrug. Hopefully ill just ignore everyone and it will go smoothly." I breath. She nods, and we finally arrive at school. I take a deep breath, and get out of the car, an make my way into school. I walk to my locker, expecting someone to bash my head into it, but nothing happens. I open my locker and grab my stuff as fast as I can. When I shut my locker, Ashly is standing there with a stupid grin in her face.

"Hey Maddie" she fake smiles,

"What do you want?" I scoff.

"I just want to thank you for breaking up with matt." She says.

"Why would you thank me?" I shake my head.

"Since he's not around you anymore, that gives me more time to fool around with him even more than before." She laughs and starts to walk away when I grab her arm.

"What do you mean more than before?" I growl. My heart is beating so fast, I can't even catch up with my breathing.

"Wait, he didn't tell you?" She starts laughing again.

"Tell me what?" I hesitate to ask.

"All the times you weren't with matt, he was with me and we would fool around with each other, but now that your not together that will make it even easier to be with him." She smirks. My heart has stopped my breathing has cut short and I think I may pass out. I can't believe him, why would he do that? I feel like I'm going to cry, or scream or both. I run to the bathroom, and check if anyone's in there, but I'm alone. I lock the door, and run into a stall. Why do I keep doing this? I broke up with him, he should be the one hurting not me. But it hurts more than you think. I thought he despised her?

I thought that he hated her, and was done. What made him think it's ok to hurt me like that? My thoughts drift off to something else. Wait, was this the thing that he didn't want to tell me about? How could I be so naive? How did I not see this coming? I knew that this is was going to happen. I start to cry and forcefully wipe my tears away. "I'm so stupid, I cry. I try to breath but it's hard to. I stand up from the toilet, and hesitantly try to open the door. This stall is too small, I run out of it, I still can't breath. I take another breath, it's hard to breath. I chest falls up and down, to fast. My vision gets blurry and all of a sudden I see black.
------------------------------
Hey guys hope you enjoyed the chapter! It was fun to to write. Please comment and vote it would really mean alot to me, also tell me what you think. I love all of you guys thank you for everything. Well Until Next Time~ Zoe Loves Matt