Confessions

Chapter 52

Maddie

We arrived at Matt's house and we both plop on his bed. 

"Maddie?" Matt asks as he sits up from his bed.

"Yes?" I ask. 

"I love you." He smiles. 

"I love you," I smile and I kiss him. 

"But we need to talk," I add. That girl that we saw at the mall was no "old friend" I need to know who she is and why she was talking to him.

"About?" He questions.

"Caroline? The girl who was talking to us today?" I say.

"Oh.. yeah." 

"Who is she?" I ask but he doesn't say anything and he just sits there with his head in his palms wiping his face. 

"Matt? Who is she?" I press.

"Ok what I am about to tell you, you can never tell anyone not even your Mum, not Emma not your best friend Robert, not anyone." He says.

"Matt you're scaring me," I say standing from the bed. 

"No you need to sit down, he says grabbing my hand, and I sit."

"You also need to know this was way before this all happened, he says gesturing to me and him. 

"And we both hated each other and we wanted nothing to do with each other." He rambles on. 

"Matt just tell me, I plead. He sits down next to me.

"It was a year ago, junior year. Someone had told me she liked me, and I took as a joke. I didn't take anyone seriously, I thought feelings were annoying as hell and I didn't care for them. So when I heard people saying she liked me, I played a game with her. My friends and I made a deal." He pauses for a second and breathes. 

"If I could get with her, they would pay me money, like a lot of it." After I hear that sentence I immediately regret asking about her. 

"We played a game of truth or dare and asked if she was a virgin, she was." 

"So we made a deal, if I could take her virginity in less than a month I could get a lot of money, and stupid me thought it was an amazing Idea. I pretend to like her and told her I loved her because she really fell for me hard. And she started getting clingy so I wanted to do it pretty fast and get over it." As he finishes his sentences I feel tears threatening to spew out of my eyes. 

"I started to fall for her too, but I "didn't date" so I pretended too. I used her, I used her for sex I used her for money and everything." I hear his voice getting hoarse. 

"But the only  way I could get money, was if I showed them proof," he says and my heart stops, no he didn't he couldn't have, he would never. I thought to myself. 

"So the night that we did it, I put a camera in the room and filmed it." And that's when I start crying. 

"I showed them the video, and I got what I wanted." 

"At least, what I thought I wanted." He says. 

"The video got out, and it was all over facebook and she saw it." 

"And her parents saw it, they kicked her out of her own house and they disowned her. They wanted nothing to do with her, and she came to my house and screamed at me, hit me and told me to rot in hell. Her parents told my parents, we decided not to tell the school board about it because both of us would have gotten expelled. But days later she came sobbing to my house, begging for somewhere to stay because her parents kicked her out. She had nowhere to go and I laughed and closed the door in her face. " 

"That poor girl, I sobbed.  I had no Idea what Matt was capable of, I knew that he had some anger in him but I never knew  that he could do something that cruel to someone. "I knew that you were in a bad place along time ago but I had no Idea that you could be that messed up. I cried. 

"How could you do that to someone, why would you ever do something like that?" "I can't even look at you the same." I stand up and walk around the room covering my mouth shocked. 

"Maddie, I know what I did was horrible, horrible is not even a word I should even use to describe it. I was messed up, fuck I still am." He says grabbing a hold of my hands. I just wanted to tell you, because you deserve to know." 

"But don't you see, you have made me a better person. Without you, I would still be like that." He says to me. 

"You would never do that to me would you?" I ask with my voice cracking. 

"No, no of course not." I respect you, you know that. I don't know why I asked that I know he would never hurt me like that...again. 

"Are you mad at me?" He asks me.  Hell, I'm not mad at him, and furious with him. How the hell could he do that to someone it is so cruel and disgusting and such an invasion of her privacy. All of these are things that I want to say to him, but I know that shouting these things at him, won't make him feel any better. And I'm pretty sure he feels bad enough. 

"I'm way more than mad, but I'm pretty sure that you're already upset with yourself so I won't say anything." I sit down with him again and wrap my arms around him. I look up at his face and tears fall. 

"Matt, I say and wipe them away, "Like you said before you are a different person. You're not who you were before, don't beat yourself  down, I think you have done that enough."  We sit in each other's arms for the rest of  the day until we fall asleep. 

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Guysssssssssss omg. I haven't been on Wattpad for like a million years ugh, I miss writing. School is so freaking annoying. UGHHH I'm trying to write more. I'm so thankful for all my readers thank you so much I don't thank you enough. I'm so sorry for not posting for like a year literally. I'm currently writing another book right now, sadly confessions is ending soon but not soon enough so don't worry hahaha. So until next time...........

~Zoelovesmatt <3