Confessions

Chapter 33

Matt's P.O.V~

I arrive at Alex house, and I could here the music blasting from a mile away. I get out of my car and walk up to the front door, not even bothering to knock. Once I'm in I can already taste the alcohol and it's not even on my tongue.. Not now at least.

"Hey man, didn't even know you were coming today." Jake says shaking my shoulder.

"Yea, yea." I say moving his hand. I can already tell this is wasn't a good idea. "Do you want a drink?" He asks. "Sure." I shrug. I know I shouldn't, it would ruin my reputation with everything I'm doing but I need it. Right away there is a red cup placed in my hand. I take a sip and the burning taste on my tongue welcomes me.

Maddie's P.O.V~

Matthew hasn't even bothered to call me, or even come by to talk. I don't think are fight was that serious that he had to give me the sci lent treatment. He should be over it now, right? I do feel like he is keeping something from me, and it's going to come bite me in the ass later in life and have my subconscious say "I told you so."

I just want to talk about it, but with Matt there's no talking about serious things, it's always yelling or screaming, or maybe both. I just want to simply talk about it, that's what we need to do. Talk about or issues it should be easy to do, sadly it's not. Maybe I should call him and see if he answers. I dial his number in my phone and wait until he picks up. "Hello, Matthew Espinosa's phone." I hear a boy answer, my stomach drops and my throat goes dry. I clear my throat, "Um, is Matthew there?" I ask.

"Who is this?" He slurs. I don't want to tell him exactly who I am. "Um, I''m one of his friends, I lie. "Oh one of Matthew's "friends" huh, want to be my friend?" I think I may throw up.

"Give me my damn phone!" I hear Matthew shout. "Who is this?" He spits.

"Who do you think?" I snap.

"What do you want?" He snaps.

"Well you kind of stormed out a few hours ago so I wanted to just talk to you." I simply state, trying to keep calm.

"First of all you told me to leave, and I'm fine you don't have to worry about me, fuck." He snaps.

"I didn't tell you to leave you chose to leave!" I yell. I'm honestly so done with this, it's just a loop. We yell and scream at each other and then makeup and then another issues pops up and I'm sick of it. "Where are you?" I ask.

"Espinosa get over here!" I hear a girl shout." Could he be? No he wouldn't, yes he has done some bad things before but he wouldn't do that, right?

"Don't worry about it, he huffs.

"Who is that?" I hear a boy ask. Is he at a party? It sounds a lot like it, I can here people chanting and the music blasting. Before Matthew hangs up he says, "It's just some crazy chick.

Just Some crazy chick? That's all I mean to him? Are you kidding me? Just a few hours ago I was much more. It's hard to realize that we weren't in this situation only hours ago. This vacation didn't turn out as great as I hoped it would, neither has this year. I thought it would be different. Ya know what they say new year new me. Every year doesn't get better it gets worse, and I just wish one day it would get better. I don't know what to do now other than sit on my floor and cry my feelings out until I can't feel anything. It's what I'm most good at it.

And then I had a different idea, I glance at my desk and see the razor sitting there. My shaky hands slowly reach for it. I stand up and walk into the bathroom. I know this isn't the best thing to solve my problems it's not even going to help, just make it worse. I lock the door and sit down on the toilet. I turn my wrist over and see all the scars that had been healed all ready. I take the razor and draw it across my wrist waiting for the blood to appear on my wrists smearing. A drop of the blood falls to the ground covering it's beautiful white shining tile now covered in a disgusting shade of innocence.