Confessions

Chapter 36

I woke up, to plain white walls and I begin to panic. Where am I, what happened?

"Hello, mrs.Woods your in a hospital right now, you had an anxiety attack at school and passed out." He explains. I guess that makes since. "Your mother is outside, she will take you home tomorrow so I can run a few tests." He tells me. I nod and begin to speak, but then someone walks in. No no no.

"Maddie, this young man heard what happened and brought you here as soon as he found out." He says pointing to matt. No he has to go I don't want him near me. "Maddie I-

"No, please I don't want him in here. Please no get him out." I cry. When the words leave my mouth matt looks hurt and confused.

"Maddie please-"

"No, no get out I don't need you hear go!" I cry. He has ruined everything that we had shared together, he has ruined everything that we had. Just because he brought me here doesn't mean he gets to apologize and fix everything.

"Maddie just let me explain everything- he says reaching for my hand.

"No! I have heard everything you have to say! I don't want to hear it anymore." I shout with tears streaming down my face.

"Please can you please make him leave." I beg. The doctor nods his head and begins to speak.

"I'm very sorry Sir, but you need to leave." The doctor says trying to guide matt.. Him out of the room.

"No! Don't fucking touch me I need to talk to her!" He shouts.

"No sir it's not a good time you need to go." The doctor stays calm.

"Please just let me talk to her." His voice cracks.

"I'm sorry not today." He apologizes and closes the door. I thank him. I wipe my eyes and turn to look at the doctor.

"Ok, so Maddie I see that you have already had an anxiety attack a few months ago, is that correct?" He asks pulling out a pen and writing on peace of paper.

"Yes, I answer. I can't believe that was only months ago, it seems like years.
"Ok well I'm going subscribe you some pills, to help with that." He says adjusting his glasses.
"Ill be back with those in one second." He says and walks out of the door. I brush my hand through my hair and
Sigh. I hate all of this, I hate the fact that I can never be happy anymore, I wish that someone would just listen to me, listen to what I need to say.

If Matt would have just been honest from the start, we wouldn't be in this mess. We would be on the couch with my legs on his lap while studying and he could tease me and we could laugh and cuddle together, but he ruined that, by making a dumb mistake. My thought are interrupted when my mother walks in with her heels clicking on the tile floor.

"Hi sweetie, she smiles. I roll my eyes, like she cares about me, she's always with "Richard" I never see her anymore. "Awe come on honey, I'm sorry Im not always home, Im trying sweetie-

"Your not trying! If you were trying you would be at home, taking care of me! You know how many time I have been alone? I never have anyone to talk to, I have to make my own meals, I just want someone to be there for me for once!" My voice cracks. The shouting is replaced with a silence, before my mother begins to speak.

"I'm sorry, she says in defeat. "I know I haven't been home, and Im not taking care of you as much as I am supposed too, Im just all caught up with Richard and he makes me really happy, and I just wanted to spend time with him, I guess I have been spending too much time with him." She sighs. She places her hand on my cheek, and kisses my forehead.

"I will be back tomorrow to pick you up, I love you." She says. We exchange our good byes and the staff gives me my phone so I just scroll through It, until I drift off to sleep.