Confessions

Chapter 39..

Maddie's P.O.V~

(This chapter will be switching off between Maddie's point of view to Matthew's point of view quite a lot, so just wanted to worn you (: enjoy)

"I'm so sorry about that, I say walking up to Robert.

"No, don't apologize, I know how he is." He states.  "I'm sorry he came and yelled at you like that, it's my fault he comfronted you, if I wan't here he wouldn't have done that." He sighs.

"No, Robert it isn't your fault, he just does'nt know how to control himself." I explain. Thoughts roam around in my head, Why did he come here? Does he still have feelings for me? Does he still actually care about me? I mean, it seemed like he did, he told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me. I gave him a chance to redeem himself, and he blew by going behind my back and messing around with Ashley. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness, I have given him more than enough chances, it's his fault that he can never keep his promises.

"Come here, he says holding out his arms, I hesitate for a moment then walk into his arms.

"Maddie, I don't care what decion you make, I'll be here to support you one way or another." He promises. I thank him for his understanding.

"Thank you so much for being there for me." I hug him as tight as I can, and he does the same.

"Well, I don't mean to be rude but I have to leave, I have to be at work in 30 minutes." He politly excuses himself.

"No, your not being rude, I just want to thank you for being here with me." I smile.

"No problem, anytime." He says putting on his sweat shirt and slipping on his shoes. He hugs me once more before leaving. "Call me if you need anything." He asures me. I nod, and we say our good bye's and I shut the door. I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. My mother has left for work, and I'm thankful that she did so I don't have to answer a million questions, that I know are bound to be asked. I check the clock and it is already 1:00 pm. I'm just not in the mood to get dressed. I stay in bed with my pajamas still on, when all of a sudden my phone rings, and it's Matt. Why can't he just understand that I don't want to talk to him right now, I don't know how I feel about him at this moment. What he said to me, earlier this morning has never left my mind. I left my phone to ring and didn't answer him. It rings for a second time, and again I leave it. He doesn't give up and calls me a third time.

I huff, and grab the phone and asnwer it,

"What?" I snap.

"Maddie?" He breathes.

"What, I huff.

"Oh, um I was just shocked you actully answered. "He counters.

"Well, I was getting annoyed with my phone ringing none stop." I snap.

"God, baby I miss you." He breathes.

"I'm pretty sure you don't, and don't call me that."

"Fuck, Maddie why can't you just believe me?" he yells.

"Matthew, I have said it a million times!" How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I know what I did was wrong, and it hurt you, but i'm willing to fix it, I know we can fix this." He says.

"No Matthew we can't, I finish and press the button to hang up but he starts to talk agian.

"Maddie please, I love you." He chokes. My heart sinks.

"No you don't, stop calling me." I do the same. I hang up on him and throw my phone. I start to cry, I do. I do love him, I love him more than anything. Yes I really wish this could have worked out between us, but I didn't. I don't allow to listen myself, when I think of him just dating me to just go beind my back and mess around with another girl, did he tell his friends what we did toghether? What I would say to him? He had me going blind, his friends probably think I'm such an idiot to actually fall for him.

But I don't know what to believe anymore, one minute he's telling me he can't live without me, and that he loves me. But then he goes and does something even more horrible and expects me to forgive him instantly. But I don't know if I can forgive him at all.

Matthew's P.o.v~

6 days, It has been 6 fucking days that we have been broken up. I need her. Why can't she just be with me? It's slowly killing me inside, I need her to be with me and tell me that she loves me. How could she believe that I don't; love her? Why can't she realize that I have never loved someone like her, let alone any other girl. I barely say I love you too my own parents. She's special to me, I want her to know that. But if Robert keeps coming back in her life, I'll never be able to get her back. He's probably telling her that i'm a worthless scum bag with no life. It's probably true, I'm nothing without her. Without her I feel I have nothing to live for. People don't understand of how good it feels to wake up next to the most beautiful girl every night and not worry if she's going to leave the next day without even saying good bye. I don't know what was wrong with me in the beginning of the year, I was an absolute fuck up. I would get drunk, sleep with different girls each night and repeat that everyday. Until her. She's the one who changed my life, she's the one who changed me. If it wasn't for her I would still be doing fucked up shit that I knew would never get me anywhere in life.

But because of her I feel I could actually have a future. I have noticed that I love to write and act. But right now I don't feel like doing anything. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I even stopped making vines and youtube videos. I can't do anything without her. She needs me as much as I need her, she knows that. She just doesn't want to admit it. I hate that we had to end like this, I should have been the one to tell her that I was messing around with Ashley behind her back. Why did I have to do that? If I was honest from the start we wouldn't be in this mess. She would be lying next to me in this bed right now, and I would be holding her waist and kissing her telling her how beautiful she is. But I have ruined a girl who was once the light in my dark shadows.

Maddie's P.O.V~

Why does it hurt so much? Why does it have to be so hard to let go of the things we love the most? I do love Matthew more than anything but what he has done, is unforgivable. He's the one who ruined it. He's the one who ruined this relation ship. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel the pain that I did. But right now I don;t know what I want him to feel like. My thoughts are interrupted by someone opening and closing the door. I wipe away my tears and see my mother coming inside with a bunch of groceries.

"Maddie, help me with theses will you?" She asks. I walk down the stairs and grab a few bags from her hands.

"What are you wearing?" She scoffs. I look down at my clothing and realize I have pajamas.

"Mother, it's just me and you here and I have no where to go, theres no reason to dress." I huff while taking the bags in the kitchen.

"That is no excuse for being sloppy." She snaps. I glare at her, and walk all the way up stairs.

"Where do you think your going young lady? Come back down here and help me with these groceries!" She yells. I discard of what she said and strip down my clothes. I grab a pair of light jeans and a top and throw it on. I don't bother to put on makeup except for a little mascara, once I'm down with that I slip on some shoes and grab my jacket. As I'm walking towards my door, I step on something. I bend down and look at it. It's the bracelet that Mat got for me, and I guess I threw it when I found out what happened. I don't know what made me do this but I put on my wrist and look at it. This is the only part of the Matt I thought I knew. I walk down stairs, grab the car keys and make my way to the door.

"Where do you think your going?" She asks with her hands on her hips. I just shake my head and slam the door shut.