Confessions

Chapter 32

Maddie's P.O.V.~

*Can we talk?

I read the text over and over again, trying to make a decision to agree or not. Matt would be so angry with me if I did. But he is already angry with me for asking if there was something he wasn't telling me, which I feel like there is, and then later in life it's going to blowup in my face, so might as well tell me now.

*Please don't ignore me, I really just want to talk.

I sigh, and decide I will meet up with him in a few minutes.

*Meet me at my house in 20 minutes. I reply.

*Ok

20 minutes later----

I walk down stairs to see an empty house, just like old times. My mother and Richard have left, to go who knows where, and I'm home alone. Next thing I know the door bell rings, and I'm pretty sure it's Robert. I walk towards the door and open it. "Hey." he smiles.

"Hi." I return the gesture.

"I just wanted to clear things up with you, from the last time we hung out." He says looking down at his feet with his cheeks heating up.

"Alright, well come in it's freezing out there." I say closing the door behind him. We make our way into the living room and I sit down on the couch while he does the same, "OK well, first of all I just wanted to apologize for trying to kiss you, you have a boyfriend I should respect that." I nod my head agreeing with him,

"And, I just want you to know, I do have feelings for you that's why I tried to kiss you." He shamelessly says.

"I guess I'm a fool for wanting someone I can't have right?" He chuckles. I feel like my heart just broke into a million pieces and Satan just stomped on it. I feel so bad.

"No your not a fool, I say putting my hand on my shoulder to comfort him.

"I'm sorry I came here I'm wasting your time." He apologizes standing up. I bolt up and stand in front of him.

"No your not, I actually needed someone to talk to I'm all alone at the moment." I explain. I understand what he is going through and I can't give him what he wants, but I know for a fact he is not a fool. "I'm so sorry."I say hugging him. I hug him as tight as I can and so does he.

"Just remember I'm always here for you OK?"He says when we release from the hug. I nod my head and walk towards the door, with him and wave good bye as he walks out. I sigh putting my back to the door sliding down it slowly. All this stress it making me want to throw up, I don't even think I can get up, I would rather sit on the floor forever than get up and face the real world. I never really noticed the beauty in living, all there is to it is living in sorrow, and this angry place we call earth. It's full of horrible people and things. Sometimes people don't understand of how bad it can be for some people. They just brush it off like it was not big deal, when really it was a huge one. No one understands you, it only you. Your the only person that you can truly trust, and it's the worst feeling. You want to be open with some people, but your just to scared if they will judge you or not.

After about 45 minutes of just thinking and sitting on the floor I check the clock and it's 4:00 pm. I finally get up, and walk up stairs to do god knows what. I sit on my bed and think of somthing that I could do instead of just sit hear and be bored to death.

Matt's P.O.V~

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm just never good enough for her. I always fuck up, make her feel bad for shit that I start. And then expect her to come running into my arms after apologzing. I head down stairs to see my mum home.

"Hi Matt."She smiles stirring something she made, with a spoon. 

"Hey." I say.

"Dinner is almost ready, if your hungry." She asks.

"No I'm good." I reject her request.

"Why not?' She asks.

"I don't know, I'm just not." I explain.

"Alright, she sighs.

"So hows Maddie doing?, havent' seen her in a while." She changes the subject.

"Good." I simply state.

"When do you think you will have her over, I would love too see her." She explains.

Me too mom me too.

"Um I'm not sure, but hopfully soon."I say.

"Alright." She says.

"I'm going out." I announce.

"Ok." She sighs. I walk out the door and hop into my car and start it. What am I even going to do? I have no friends, well I do but there idiots who just like to screw around, and I'm already in enough trouble. I wish I could hang out with Maddie, but she is probably pissed at me. I miss her. I always do this, I fight with her, yell at her make, make her feel bad and then leave. I can't keep doing this, one day I will fuck up and she will leave me. And I can't let that happen, I can't be with out her. But she can't blame me, I haven't really had a proper girlfriend before, I just kid of messed around with Ashley, but now the sight of her touching me, makes me want to barf. I thought for a seconed that maybe I should go and apologize but I think that I should give her some space for now. I don't want to rush her into things like I usually do. 

I drive out of the dirve way, and drive far away from my house when all of a sudden my phone rings. It's Alex. "What do you want?" I groan. Honestly I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now, I dont have the patince. "Dude you haven't been to one of my parties in forever, you should come." He urges me.

"Do you remeber the last time I went to one of your parties?" I drank so much I couldn't see and I had to walk home." I snap. 

"Come on, you don't have to drink anything, you haven't hung out with us in forever, ever since you started dating that bitch you have been so diffrent." he scoffs.

"Don't fucking talk about her that way again or I will kick your ass." I say through my teeth. I'm going ot fucking snap in one minute I can't take his shit.

"See there you are again defending her." He says. "Ok enough of this shit, are you coming or not?" He huffs. I don't know if I should or not, I am under a lot of stress I don't know if it will help or make it worse. 

"Fuck fine, Ill be there in 5." I huff. I make my way to his house, all I know is that this is not going to end well.

----------------------------------------------------------

Authors Note~

Heyyy guyss i'm sorry that this chapter is alittle short, I was trying to make it a little better and then I came back from the break and went to school and now I have more quizes and tests lmao I'm going to go kill my self tbh. Also I just wanted to hineslty thank you guys so much for 5,000 reads, tbh when I got 22 reads I was so excited about that cause I thought I wasn't going to get any reads at all, and I'm just so thank ful for it. You guys are my family and I couldn't ask for a better one. I love you all. Well until next time~ZoeLovesMatt<3