Nothing but You ~☆Killugon☆~

-Alluka-

~Killuas pov~

Me and Gon both decided on eggs since it's just a easiest right now. I made us both omelets.

"Thanks a lot Killua!" Gon said as he took his first bite. "Wow it's really good."

As we continued to eat, I noticed Gon looked a bit...Impatient. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't.
One we finished our omelets he thanked me again.

We then sat down in the living room, I was going to suggest we watch a movie or something; but Gon began to speak.
"Hey Killua, would you mind if I asked you something?"

Is this what's been on his mind?
"Yeah sure, go ahead."

He looked afraid as he began to talk, "Is it really okay for you to look after Alluka all by yourself? I mean, it's so much pressure on you. You're up against your whole family. I don't want you to take this the wrong way but don't you think this is too much pressure?"

Oh this isn't really what I was expecting. I guess he was just worried about me. Or maybe—
I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
Is he calling me weak? I'm completely capable of taking care of Alluka! What kind of person would I be if I couldn't.

"What are you trying to say? I can't even take care of my little sister? That I'm too weak?" I started to raise my voice. "What do you even mean by that?"

Gon looked even more afraid than before. "I-I just-"
I cut him off before he could finish.
"No I get it! I understand what you're trying to say. You just think I'm not strong enough." I started to tear up.
Is that really how he sees me?

"You know that's not what I meant..."

"Well then what did you mean?!"
Just as the words escaped my lips, I saw how hurt Gon looked. He stood up and started walking for the door. I went to say something but I couldn't think of anything that would make him stay.

He put on his shoes, and walked out the door. I heard his door close hard behind him.

I paused before I began to think about everything that just happened;

Ugh why did I react like that? Gon was probably just trying to see if I was okay and I totally snapped at him.
I'm just feel so afraid that I won't be strong enough to protect Alluka...hearing him say that felt like he didn't think I was strong enough either.
I felt hot tears fall from my eyes.
The truth is...I really don't know how to protect her. I need to but I don't know how. Illumi keeps finding us. I'm failing her.
I began to sob into my hands.
I'm failing her...

I had a sudden flashback to when me and Alluka were little.
Alluka was crying.
"You're not a monster Alluka...neither is Nanika. It will be okay. You don't need to worry." is all I could say. I was still little, so I didn't really understand what was going on.
This was only moments before they locked her up for good.
I remember crying too when they told me that we would be able to see each other for a while.

I snapped out of it when I heard Alluka faintly say my name, "Killua?"
I turned around to see Alluka propped up against the wall.
"What are you doing out of bed?"
I rushed over to her and lead her to the couch. She laid down.
"Why we're you crying?" She asked as she whipped a few of my tears away.

"Am I doing a good job? Protecting you I mean." I asked with tears in my eyes.

"Of corse! You're doing a great job, honestly! I've been having so much fun with you and Gon. I feel so lucky. Thank you Killua, for everything."

I felt more tears fall down my cheeks.

"Ah! Don't cry don't cry! I didn't mean to make you upset!" She said nervously.

I wiped my tears. "No no, I'm okay I'm just so glad you feel happy."

"Of corse I'm happy! There isn't any other person I'd rather spend my time with."
The more Alluka reassured me, the more I felt like I wanted to keep crying.
I then remembered Gon.
I quickly got up and rushed over to the door. "Alluka! I need to go see Gon! I'll be back in a little bit. Try not to move around too much since you're still running a little bit of a fever."
I put on my shoes and went over to Gons door. The rush I was in suddenly ceased. I was able to work up the nerve to knock.