Scent of Eclipse

Chapter 63: Imminent Death

Tumigil ang mundong ginagalawan naming dalawa. Nawasak ang lahat ng tinig sa paligid at wala kaming narinig kung hindi ang katotohanang pilit kong iniisip bilang isang kasinungalingan.

"Ma?" Garalgal na tanong ko.

Hindi ako naniniwala. Sila ang pamilya ko at hindi siya. Hindi nila magagawa sa'kin 'yan. Hindi nila magagawang magsinungaling sa akin. Hindi 'to totoo.

Papa came and was shocked to see me. She's crying wile looking at me... Mama. Ang nakasama kong Ina sa ilang taon.

Why don't she answer now? Why won't Lysandra talk? She's my mother? My mother tried to kill me? Tinignan ko ang mga mata niyang napalitan ng takot sa maaring malaman. Her eyes met mine so we both gasped. Sumisikip ang lalamunan ko at sinusubukang hindi masaktan. 

"Don't kill your own daughter!" She exclaimed again so I completely lost myself, trying to absorb what she's saying.

"Stop talking nonsense... I saw it! She died! With my two eyes she died!" Sunod-sunod na pumatak ag luha sa mga mata niya.

Umiling ako at tinakpan ang tenga. I covered my ears to avoid hearing those words.

"Your daughter did not die..."

Buong katawan ko ang nanginginig. Kung gano'n, sila ang dahilan kung bakit namatay ang totoong tatay ko? Tatay ko ang mortal na binanggit niya? Ang kinilala kong ina ang trumaydor sa sarili kong ina?

Napakaraming tanong ang gusto kong bitawan. I want to know why did they do it? Why didn't they tell me about this? Is that why they isolated me when I was young? Because of my blood?

Is that the reason why am I longing for love even if they are here by my side for a long time? Because it was not enough... Because it was not my real parents' love...

"I left a letter that night! I left a letter because I know you will survive! To tell you that if in case you will pass the attack, you and I will meet outside the castle at the backdoor so you can see and take your daughter with you!"

Kaya ba ganoon ako masaktan sa tuwing sinusubukan niya akong patayin? Is that why I doubted when I heard her story?

Hindi ko maintindihan...

"This can't be!" She shouted.

This is absurd... She is not my mother. Kung siya ang totoong Mama ko bakit hindi niya ako nakilala una pa lang?

Kung anak niya ako dapat mata ko pa lang, kilala niya na 'ko. Isn't that how a mother's love do? Kahit na ilang taong magkahiwalay sila ng anak niya ay makikilala niya ito? Hindi ba't ganoon dapat?

"Pero hindi mo natanggap at hindi ko alam! I waited for you outside the castle because I cannot break my promise to protect you! You only had me that time so I waited but you didn't come back... I'm holding your child but you didn't come to fetch her." She covered her lips after confessing what really happened. "Hinintay kita pero ang akala mo trinaydor kita..."

I felt his hands on my back to stop me from raging out.

I can't think straight. Gulong-gulo ako. She's my mother? Then why did she leave me? Why did she leave me without confirming first if I really died? I killed my mother and now she's killing me. Why does my mom want me die?

"You're just using my weakness! Shut up! You are using my daughter against me! She is not my daughter! My daughter died and that time I died too!"

More than death itself, it is killing me that I could not almost look at myself. She hates me and she can't even recognize me.

"I raised your daughter, Lysandra... I waited for you for a long time but you didn't show up! When you finally came back to harm first Ruby, you didn't recognize her that's why I didn't tell you. Dahil wala kang karapatang maging ina! She's my daughter and you cannot do anything about that. Anak ko si Ruby at hindi mo mababago ang bagay na 'yan!"