Scent of Eclipse

Chapter 08: Where are you?

Rashea's POV

I covered my mouth to prevent the noise of crying that will surely create a sound in the room. I'm standing in the post of the doorway hearing those words from them.

I can't interrupt... If I did that, she'll think that I'm betraying her again... A selfish woman who just stole the man of her life.

I never meant it.

I never imagined myself though falling in love with him that time... I tried to stop it.

The world knows that I did not want to steal him from her. The time that we were still young and I found out that she likes him, even though he said that he likes me, I pushed him away.

And they got in a relationship. They got in a relationship and I did too... Just not to hurt my sister.

"I need to... To protect you," he said, but I know she'll never understand it.

She'll never understand our sacrifices for her. We need to do it for her. We need to ignore the fact that Conard and I are tied to each other. Our hearts beat as one but we needed to ignore it. I didn't know... I didn't know love is this hard to control.

Fuck that fate. Fuck that mission. We already stopped but that mission pushed us to be together to hurt her.

All I know is I needed to protect you before because you're too weak... And that is to help him out with the mission... but everything was messed up by this destiny. Conflicts made everything complicated.

Fate made my little sister hate me. Love made me a traitor in your eyes, Ruby.

"Hindi mo maiintindihan pero isa lang ang isipin mo... Mahal na mahal kita kaya kailangan kong saktan ka... Doon ligtas ka. Noon ay doon ka ligtas... Ganoon kita minahal noon."

Napapikit ako at napakapit sa poste sa narinig. It's been a long time. I thought it was me. I thought he already moved on from what happened. Marami nang nangyari pero all this time, it's really her.

I'm here, Conard. I am not her, but I'm ready to love you endlessly too. But why can't it be me? Why can't you just love me?

Ako na lang. Ako naman. Bakit hindi mo magawa na ako rin ang piliin mo?

Masakit kasi na ako ang pinili mo pero sa kanya ka nagsasakripisyo. Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay ng pagkakataon na magiging akin ka rin nang buo kahit panandalian lang?

It's so hard to love you... It's so hard to tame a heart that was made to be in love with someone else. Are we really mates?

Every time I try to feel his kisses, his bite, and his embrace on me, it's like I'm always living in someone else's shadow. Whenever he hugs me, I feel like something's always wrong about us.

The most painful punishment of all is that you need to live with someone's shadow just to be loved. If that's what Ruby feels, why do I share the same feeling with her?

Why do I need to be a snake in someone's eye just to save them?

I've been sacrificing everything I have but the person I want to save sees me as her greatest enemy. I want to be her shield, but I became a bullet in her eyes.

"Mahal? Sa iyo na ang pagmamahal na 'yan!" Sumbat niya. "Mahal mo ang kapatid ko at hindi ako... Magmula noon. Hindi mo 'ko minahal!"

"I did... I tried," he whispered.

"Quit the game... Nothing will change. Your care for me will never heal the scar you left!"

"I never played you," he exclaimed.