Scent of Eclipse

Chapter 59: Fated by the Eclipse

"I've gone mad and crazy... I've lost my mind. I've lost myself by trying to forget about that crime I didn't mean to do!"

He leaned forward trying to control his temper. If you want to hurt me, then go. If that will ease the pain... Please hurt me...

"You had me... I didn't leave you. I didn't push you away! I cared for you but you still chose to lie!" Bumagsak ang luha sa mga mata niyang basa. "Dahil tingin mo ay katulad ako ng lahat na ipagtatabuyan ka."

"Hindi niyo rin naman ako pakikinggan, hindi ba?" I almost kneeled down to beg him.

"Iba ako, Ruby... Sa lahat ng pagmamahal na pinakita ko sa'yo, ganyan pa rin ba ang tingin mo? Na hindi kita kayang pakinggan?" Binawi niya ang kamay niya mula sa 'kin.

"That wasn't my point..."

"Tama na." He answered.

Umiling siya at iniwasan ang mga kamay kong pilit siyang inaabot.

"Let's break up." He whispered.

"Are you leaving me?" Nanghihinang tanong ko. "Kailangan kita ngayon... Hindi ang trono o ang kahit na anong bagay... Ikaw lang..."

"I need myself too... Kailangan ko rin ang sarili ko..."

Hindi naman ito ang mga ipinangako mo sa buwan. Kaya bakit ako maniniwala? Kung alam kong hindi mo 'ko kagagalitan nang ganito.

"I didn't mean to lie... Please forgive me... Aayusin ko ang sarili ko basta't huwag mo 'kong iwanan."

"Why did you kill that way?" He glared at my eyes. "Why did you kill the only person who cares for you that way? Why did you kill me? Why did you kill us?" Sunod-sunod na tanong niya.

"Just tell me where it hurts, babawi ako... Please? I'm begging you."

I kneeled down in front of him and he didn't care. He didn't care at all even if I kill myself now.

"Let's not meet again, Ruby Shim... I don't know how to look in your eyes."

"Liar... Hindi mo kaya. Hindi mo kayang wala ako sa tabi mo." Sunod-sunod akong umiling.

"Let's end us. I can't be with you anymore."

I gave up. I leaned my back on the wall and he did too. We're not facing each other and we're both crying.

"Hindi ko hinihiling na palagi mo 'kong piliin higit pa sa sarili mo... Pero bakit mo ginawa ang bagay na sinabi mong hinding-hindi mo gagawin? Magiging maayos ako kung aalis ka... Papayag akong iwanan mo 'ko pero galit ako dahil bakit ka aalis nang hindi man lang ako pinakikinggan?"

"Pagod na 'ko... Hindi ko na gustong mahalin ka pa." He closed his eyes while throwing those words against me.

He walked out so I threw all the things my eyes could caught. I screamed so hard, tearing the sheets that cover the bed. All of them are liars... All of them fooled me. I only sinned once but why? Why do they hate me this way? Why did they send me away easily?

"Ruby!"

Rashea came to stop me. She held my wrist tight.

"What's happening? Stop, Ruby. Tama na... Hush, now... Tama na." Niyakap niya ko mula sa likuran ko.

Bumagsak kaming pareho sa lupa dahil bumigay ang mga paa ko. Hindi ako makahinga. Namimilipit ang paghinga ko. Hindi ko kaya.

Kung mahal niya ako, hindi siya aalis dahil nagsinungaling ako. Aayusin niya 'to. Ang pinangako niya, mananatli siya kahit gaano pa ako kasama. Kahit gaano pa kalaki ang kasalanan ko, hindi niya 'ko lalayuan kaya nagtiwala ako. Babalik siya. Iyon ang sinabi niya, babalik siya. Wala sa mga ipinangako niya ang iwanan ako nang tuluyan.