SEPTIC BULLSHIT

[CHASE BRODY] If I could change:

//TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND ALCOHOLISM//

Chase always woke up with a pitied outlook of life.
He never really saw colours other than black and white.
His kids were the only solution to that problem. They coloured his world and made it brighter.
Of course, you couldn't pay someone enough for that. Chase wanted to give them the world... He wished he did.
The time he almost took his own life. It left everyone grounded and supressed. Especially his family.
Brody wanted to change for good. Whether that would be killing his old life but something wouldn't let him get away that easily.
He knew people admired him for his strength but staying silent only kills the unknown.

"Come on, you can do this." The ego encouraged himself to get out of bed after staying under the covers for days straight. "You need to move."
His arms were stiff, clicking painfully when he managed to extend them forward. Chase hissed a bit but didn't let the nerve get to him.
The clock was ticking rather loudly- almost counting him down, pressuring him, telling him to MOVE IT-

Chase gasped when his eyes fell open again. He was in the same position as he was before... Lied down, covered in his blankets.
"What the fuck?" He muttered out of confusion. Of course it was a dream, what else would it be? "Nothing, it was nothing." The ego answered his own question, relying on his logic that told him it should be nothing to worry about.
Chase slowly sat up from his now dented mattress, beginning to adjust through the sly darkness. He frowned when realising all the photo frames were smashed. He would of questioned it but the bottles laying on the ground answered it.
"I-I thought... I stopped?" He whispered with concern, edging down to collect one of the bottles when it EXPLODED-

"AH-" He jerked up in bed. "NO, NO, NO!" Chase cried out, covering his eyes. This was beginning to freak him out, he hated this. His fingers pierced the scalp, pulling on the brown messy stands.
"I HATE THIS." His whispers grew more desperate- basically begging for help.
He couldn't say if this was real or not. His conscious mentally told him to get over it but his mind stated the clear facts. Something odd was happening.
"No, no..." Chase gulped quietly, refusing to acknowledge the shadow in the corner. "Leave me alone." He asked.

"You wanted to change." It called out with a sense of power and control.

The fatherly ego nodded. "I do, I do-" "Why aren't you changing?"
The spectrums question left Brody to ponder. It wasn't the first time they have met... Though he doesn't know anything about this being, it knows more than Chase. About himself.
"I gave you changes to flip your life around." It sighed. "Yes, I kept changing the times. The years. I sent you into the past but you only forced yourself to come back."

"I-I thought... It was a repetitive dream." Chase whispered back, covering his face.
The shadow moved closer. "No. You lost the chance to change." It's voice turned cold and narrow. "Just because you couldn't let go of your fears. You don't want to make the same mistakes." It grew louder. "I have to watch you cry over my height, pleading me to turn back time."

The father flinched at every word that was spat with venom. "I'm sorry!" He muffled through the pillows. "I didn't realise!"
"You weren't supposed to realise, Brody." The spectrum growled sharply, fading away once again. "Change." It whispered before being swallowed in the pits of Chase's imagination. He was at the point of insanity. Using his demons to create choices for them to choose.
Yet this one stayed by his side.

"If I could change." The ego sighed. "I would of."