Redemption

chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

HOLLAND'S P.O.V

Saya menatap sayu pada ruang tamu rumah saya yang sunyi...

This living room used to be the life of the house... my kids running around, laughing and playing together... the living room where a lot of sweet memories were created...

I sighed heavily as I walked to the liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of whiskey... saya menuang the gold liquid into a glass...

Sipping my whiskey slowly... I thought of how am I going to wake up the next day and survive another day without Thania and my kids... those are my same thoughts everyday as I drank myself to sleep...

Ahhh... Hol... Hol... apalah akan jadi dengan kehidupan kau ni? there is like no purpose in life anymore for me... dulu saya hidup untuk isteri dan anak-anak saya... untuk mencurahkan cinta dan kasih sayang... untuk memenuhi setiap keperluan dorang... tapi sekarang... sekarang? kosong... matlamat kehidupan saya kosong...

Setelah pemergian Thania and my kids, saya tidak sanggup berada dalam rumah saya sendiri... sampai saya tidur di bilik bujang saya di rumah mom and dad, jiran sebelah saja...but then eventually I decided to return to my home...

Keadaan rumah masih sama as how it was the day the loves of my life died... I didn't want to change anything... my wedding picture, Jojie and Nat's baby photos and their photos as they grow up... all unmovable...

Saya tidak sedar saya duduk termenung sebegitu lama sampai saya tertidur dalam posisi menduduk di kerusi ruang tamu...

It was another nightmare... a flashback of the worst incident in my life...

-my nightmare flashback-

"doctor! doctor!" Thania's mom memanggil doctor yang merawat kes Thania... "my daughter's awake..."

Saya yang sedang bekerja di laptop saya mencari evidences from the explosion dengan pantas berdiri dan berlari ke arah katil Thania... sudah beberapa minggu Thania coma... and at last dia sudah tersedar...

"Ho... Hol..." Thania cracked a weak smile...

"love...!" I kissed Thania's bandaged forehead... her burns are 60%... chances of survival masih ada... saya sangat yakin...

"Jojie? Nat?" Nathania dengan lemahnya menanya saya...

Semua dalam private ward Thania diam membisu...

I wanted to lie... I wanted to say that everything's ok... the kids are home playing video games... but it's just not right...

Saya menggigit bibir bawah saya menahan sebak... don't cry now, Hol... not now...

"Jo... jie..." I choked out... "and Nat... didn't make it, love..."

"baaa... biesss!!!" Thania meraung dalam duka...

And I broke down on my knees and cried... I've never been weak in spirit... I raised from the dead when I was once shot... but today and all the days since the explosion and the deaths of my kids put me in my most weakest and broken point in life...

TIT. TIT. TIT. TIT.

The ventilator screeched out making me tremble in fear... the medical team rushed to Thania's side...

"Than! love!" saya teresak... London merangkul tubuh saya... dragging me out of the ward... "no! no! let me be with my wife!"

It took 3 strong men to hold me, preventing me from barging in to the ward... London, dad and Thania's dad...