Redemption

chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

SELENA’S P.O.V

My legs turned to jelly – dua kali.

First time masa saya diminta oleh Rara and the girls to sing on stage, I haven’t been singing on stage for more than a year. No, more like since my parents’ deaths. Dulu di school saya selalu perform untuk Hari Guru, Hari Kanak-Kanak atau masa Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang. Ada masa kalau saya ada mood, saya akan join competition.

Ah, so… forget about the painful memories.

The birthday girl mesti menyanyi dorang bilang. Saya tidak boleh memberikan apa-apa alasan. Kenapa? sebab dorang sudah tau saya pandai juga menyanyi masa kami ber-beauty therapy di Rara’s spa.

Tergila juga kami dancing and singing masa tu. Saya yang lead them to Blackpink’s Ddu-ddu-du. Hahahaha! siapa suruh mau suruh budak 17 tahun menyanyi dan menari. Rara saja terlepas sebab ngam-ngam dia ada urgent documents she need to sign dia bilang. Entah sekadar alasan kah atau tidak. Makanya saya tidak tau yang Rara can sing juga.

And Kleo. Fuh! Dia boleh ikut sudah tu ‘Dancing with the Stars’ atau jadi saja pelakon Step Up. Saya kagum oh!

I just didn’t know why I sang John Legend’s ‘All of Me’. Naluri saya just led me to sing it, and all the while saya mengelak dari pandangan mata Holland yang berdiri di depan pentas bersama dengan Sydney dan beberapa orang kawan dia and the cold Don di belakang dia.

I know if I ever look into his eyes, I will tremble. I won’t be able to control my emotions when I’m around him these days. It’s either he makes me wild and craving for him, or he makes me sakit hati and angry at him. And I don’t wanna cry on stage on New Year’s day and my birthday.

Lega saya bila I finished singing. Lantas saya beralih to the cake stand.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetie.” Holland’s mom hugged and kissed me, the most beautiful and elegant Puan Sri Bianca Robinson. And the most graceful. I love her name! and the person herself. “your voice is astounding… you and Holland can duet.”

Pantas saya menggelengkan kepala.

No, don’t get any ideas, aunty… please!

“I’ve got a birthday gift for you… not much, but I hope you like it, sweetie…” she clasped what seems like a bangle on my wrist, cantik!

I covered my mouth in awe.

“It’s so beautiful, aunty…” the white gold diamond bangle shining brightly on my wrist, saya menitiskan air mata haru. Lama sudah saya tidak dapat hadiah sebegini indah. The last gift was from my late mother.

“It’s as beautiful as you.” Holland’s mom kissed me on both cheeks again, saya membalas kissing her on both cheeks.

“mom…” HOLLAND.

Apa dia buat atas pentas ni? bukan dia sibuk melayan Allana kah? Dancing and chit-chatting with their friends and family?

“Hol…” Holland’s mom smiled at him brightly “Happy New Year, son. I really pray that it will be a happy new year for you.”

Holland tersenyum lembut.

“Happy New Year, mom.” dia memeluk ibu dia “I love you.”

DUBS jantung saya!

I don’t know why that three magical words made my heart skip a beat walaupun ungkapan tersebut bukannya tertuju kepada saya.

Fikiran saya melayang… imagining that deep, sensual voice whispering ‘I love you’ to me. That muscular figure, with six-pack abs ontop of me, making love to me. Tangan saya meramas lengan dia yang berotot dan berurat.