Redemption

chapter 62

CHAPTER 62

HOLLAND'S P.O.V

"I love you, Holland."

Berbunga-bunga terus hati saya. Selena loves me. Selena loves me like a woman loves a man. Tadi at the party saya rasa tergoyah, keyakinan saya menjunam. Tapi ternyata I don't have anything to worry about.

Sebab Selena loves me.

I love you. I love you. I love you too, sayang.

Saya memeluk tubuh mungil Selena dengan seerat-eratnya as if I'm not ever gonna let her go.

Memangpun. Saya tidak akan pernah melepaskan Selena. And I realized that since the first day I brought her back to my house. Kau telah dengan sengajanya menjerat dan memenjarakan Selena dalam hidup kau, Hol.

Saya sangat mencintai kau, batin saya membisik. And I hope Selena feels all my love for her. I hope the love I feel for her radiates in her soul.

That was nearly a week ago.

Sudah seminggu berlalu sejak Selena mengungkapkan cinta. Dan saya mengungkapkan cinta saya kepada Selena dengan tindakan dan dari hati.

Apa yang salah?

Apa yang salah?!

And again... Saya tersungkur.

Slamming the bottle of Whiskey sembarangan saja, I broke down on my knees.

"Argh!!!" I shouted in frustration.

My mind flashed back to the day I woke up alone in bed, smiling in satisfaction. Finally, after 3 years I'm in love again, dan cinta saya terbalas.

-Flashback-

I turned to my left. Ruang yang kosong tidak membuat saya sedikit runsing pun. Selena might be on her morning jog.

Then I turned to my right, reaching for my handphone on the bedside table.

Saya bukan saja tersentuh my handphone, but also something that feels like paper. Ada bill sampai? Did Selena put my phone bills under my handphone just to remind me to pay my bills? I chuckled to myself. Pelik-pelik bah perangai Selena, tapi comel.

I imagine I have mini Selenas running around waking me up every morning. Sudah sampai sejauh tu kau imagine kan, Hol.

Ah, berapa bah juga bill saya ni bulan?

Mata saya terbulat. I sat up straight.

"Hi Mr-Daddy-DPP,

If you're reading this now, I want you to know again that I love you. Deep down I know you feel the same way too. But that's deep down, I still have doubts, I'm still afraid. I'm just a little nobody that you picked from trash and polish into a woman that loves you whole heartedly. But I want assurance. I want confidence. I want to be assured with confidence that you'll always love me and will never leave me, not for anyone alive or for anyone who had passed on.

If you are reading this now, I'm sorry I fell in love with you since the very beginning. I'm sorry for not able to take control of my body and my emotions. If I would've been able to control myself, we wouldn't be where we are today. You wouldn't be betraying your late wife's love.

If you are reading this now, I owe you a lifetime of gratitude for taking me under your wings and protecting me against the cruel world. If prayers can repay the kindness and protection you showered upon me, I pray that God blesses you with grace, love and happiness.

If you are reading this now, I pray that you'll cherish all the memories of us, although our memories won't ever be compared with the memories you had with your late wife. But cherish us nonetheless.