Can we start over?

You're not damaged

Previously Can we start over?

"Ive already told you that I've lived a timeline similar to this, we've gone over the fact that I died at the hands of your brother"

"Suffice to say I believed he had my mom, I might not like Renee much but she is my mother, back then I didn't realize how toxic our relationship was ...."

"Then stay.... stop pushing and just keep pulling me in Isabella.."

"I love you"
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Bella holds her breath, she knows it might be too soon declaring her love for the vampire but she couldn't help it, the words itself felt too small to label what she felt for the vampire.

She hopes Rosalie won't feel the need to say it back simply because she said it. She knows they've argued , disagreed very loudly about things,  she knows that she has to make up for lying to the vampire because she felt it was necessary even now she knows that she accused Rosalie of being like Edward when she was doing the exact same thing.

So now she hopes that the words won't have a negative effect on their budding relationship , knowing just how many relationships ended all because in person jumped the gun at saying 'I love you' when the other didn't quite feel just there yet, so she rushes to reassure the seemingly catatonic vampire.

She wonders whether vampires can go into complete shock, or be shocked frozen because the way Rosalie stands before her for a full minute without saying anything worries her. She calls her name softly trying to reach the vampire.

"Rose..."

" Bella I...." she trails off , Bella let's go of the breath she'd been holding. Thankful that the vampire at least said something even if it was just two words. So she put on a smile, hoping to reassure the vampire.

"Listen... Rose .. you don't have to say it back okay?" Rosalie opens her mouth, but no words come out.. the words bella told her , those three words wasn't something she heard directed at her for a long time , other than Esme —but that wasn't the same type of love , it wasn't the romantic kind of love.

Her mind replays the memories of the last time she heard those words, it plays it on loop then flashing to the violent scene of her fiancé Royce king stripping her, removing every strip of dignity she had as a women.

She hates that her mind flashed to those traitorous thoughts , she thought she'd put them to rest the moment she made Royce pay for his sins. But now they play before her eyes like a broken record, the words she wishes she could say back to her mate, reassure her that she felt the exact same way.... she tried to utter something—anything that would make look like less of  a fool that she already was.

She's truly thought she's overcome her turbulent past, after all she managed to be intimate with past suitors both men and women ... flings throughout the years with various vampires.

Even with Bella, she remembers when she felt Bella's own member against her core ... she didn't have a flashback of Royce and his friends then .. so why was it so difficult for her to say those three words? Why couldn't she just scream it out loud like she wanted to do the moment she realized that Bella was her mate, her forever why the hell was it so difficult?

She feels Bella remove her hands from her cheeks, breathing out a small imperceptible disappointed sigh. She knew she probably wasn't  supposed to hear it but she does and it send a sharp pain through her un-beating heart. The sound might as well have been a warning bell at how loud it rung in her ears. She sees the small smile on her mates face, but also sees a flash of sadness in her eyes.