Blinded by Limerence

84 | To Whom Her Heart Belongs

Right there in that moment, as Morgan stared transfixed at the keychains that had been connected at last, at the full silver heart it formed, the words I love you engraved across it, she couldn't help but think back to the journey not only the keychains had taken but they themselves had gone through as well.

She used to think that falling in love — finding the Romeo to your Juliet — would be the easiest thing in the world; she thought the story would be as simple as boy sees girl from across the room, boy falls in love with girl, and the rest is history — simple as that. 

She knew better now.

Love — life, in general — is way more complicated than that. It's messy, and loose ends oftentimes don't get tied up in a neat bow. Not everyone we love is going to love us back, and Morgan had to learn that the hard way. Even the best of us fall victim to the unrelenting limerence — like Addie. It broke her soul in half, and yet, she somehow came out stronger. 

Morgan, on the other hand — she wasn't as strong. She didn't see — couldn't see — what was right in front of her eyes this entire time — until it was too late.

For what it's worth, she did see the boy across the crowded room and fell in love (with all the messy details in between, of course). Only thing is, she didn't know that that was it, that that was what she'd been waiting for all her life, and she opened her eyes a little too late, late to see that she'd been blinded by the idea of Archer for too long, late to remove the constraining shackles from around her heart and say "I love you" out loud to the person her heart longed for.

She never, in a million years, would've thought that this was how her life would end up playing out.

When she first found out about her and Archer's romantic history (through little bits and pieces of information she could squeeze out of Addie, her parents, and anybody else who knew and resurfaced memories), she thought they could finally be together, ride off into the sunset — except it's never that easy.

It was when he had kissed her that night in his car that she realized that their time was up, expired, because her heart belonged to someone else, his best friend, as ironic as it was.

Archer, it seems, read her mind. He, too, seemed to be looking down the path they all took.

"Funny how our lives all took us in different directions, but we all somehow remained connected in the end —" Archer stared at the keychains that remained connected as he spoke "— but it's weird. At the end of high school, we all promised to keep in touch, to prove everybody wrong and show that high school friendships can last but — deep down, we all knew we were just making empty promises."

Archer's sentiment took a surprising turn, Morgan thought as she stared at him. To brighten the mood, Morgan whirled around in her seat and folded her legs beneath her, a small smile on her face.

"You know what's really funny?" she prompted with wide, twinkling eyes. "How I started out as a teenager head over heels in love with you, to the point that my breath got caught in my throat every time I'd see you, and now here I am, talking to you like old pals."

"Yeah, we've grown quite a lot, huh?" Archer said, mirroring the crazy glint in Morgan's eyes. "And what about Addie, huh? She used to have a thing for Chase, then Eric, and they both broke her heart when they came out — and now she's married with child number two on the way."

Morgan froze again, her eyes wide with shock. "Wait — you're kidding —"

Archer seemed surprised at Morgan's apparent shock. "No, I'm not! I'm surprised you didn't already know that," he said. "He met her at Stanford — he's in Canada with the children now — Addie had to fly back here for business — I'm sure you heard about the whole The Brew situation? — anyway, she's staying with mom at the time being."

"Addie mentioned The Brew, but I have no clue why she didn't mention she has her own family now!" Morgan said breathlessly, slightly affronted. "What's his name — ? What're the kids' names — ?"

Archer laughed aloud. "Morgan, chill — his name's Parker, and their eldest is Lewis, then last I heard they were thinking about naming the new kid Charlie."

Morgan clasped her hands together (she let go of the keychain so that Archer was now holding the connected pieces), and her eyes glittered in the sunlight. "Oh, I can't wait to meet them! I can't believe I didn't notice Addie was pregnant when I saw her — then again, I know all about hiding pregnancies... What else don't I know?" she added hastily, prompting Archer with excited eyes.

"Well, Killian's in a serious relationship with Rafe — great guy, we all met him a few months back —"

"That's strange," said Morgan (Archer flashed her a curious stare at her interruption). "I always did think Eric and Killian were endgame." 

Archer shrugged, seeming deep in thought. "Well, we all fell for the wrong person — we just — didn't know it yet."

Archer had a point, Morgan thought.

Everyone fell for the wrong person all those years ago, herself included. The only difference was that it had been too late for Morgan when she realized who was the right person for her... That was the thing about limerences — you never know if you're wasting all your love on someone who wasn't for you. 

Although, Morgan thought further, there is a weird pleasure in loving someone who doesn't love you back — and somehow, in a really weird and twisted way, it was because of that that she's the person she is today, that all of them are the people they are today, really — how they became these matured, amazing people.

She spent so much time obsessing over the boy sitting next to her that she lost sight of everything and everyone else. She'd been blind all along, blinded by her youth and naivety, believing that it was only Archer she could love — then Collin came into her life and showed her otherwise — but it was Trevor who truly opened her eyes to a world of laughter and joy and love so warm and pure that it could only come from a man who truly and wholly loves you for you.

"You're right — we all fell for people who weren't right for us, but — but that led us to find what was right all along," said Morgan thoughtfully, her gaze absentmindedly following Nick, who was sprinting towards her with something in his hand ("Look, mommy, look! I found a barrette in the sandbox!"). "I may have wasted my opportunity to find love, and I don't know if I'll ever have that exciting feeling of first love again, but — but I do know that — that I'm pretty happy with how life turned out."

She squeezed her little Nicky's hand in hers and grinned happily, feeling warm and contented for the first time in a long while. Nick, however, jutted his lips out in a pout at having his 'exciting news' be ignored by his mother.

Archer looked at the way Morgan stared at her son so lovingly, and he turned to look at Adrienne, too, who was all the way across the playground, appearing to be conversing heatedly with a boy who seemed to be a year or two older. Morgan wasn't sure if it was just her, but as she continued to squint at Adrienne, it seemed like her hair wasn't tied into a neat plait anymore.

"Yeah, we did pretty well for two idiots in love, huh?" he said dazedly, to which Morgan smiled and nodded. "You know, back at graduation, you said that not everything and not everyone could get a happily ever after — maybe you were wro —"

But before Archer could finish his sentiment, Adrienne shrieked from across the playground, "IT IS NOT UGLY! YOU'LL BE ANSWERING TO MY DADDY — !"