Blinded by Limerence

20 | Gong Cha or CoCo?

Addison

I bit the insides of my cheeks as I rocked back and forth on my heels. "Uh, wanna grab a bite to eat?" I asked Chase, finally cutting the awkward silence between us.

He shrugged, his eyes glued to the lockers behind me. "Sure."

"Do you want milk tea? I'm kinda craving milk tea," I said, trying my best not to ramble.

At the mention of the sweet drink, Chase's hazel eyes finally met mine, and his whole face lit up. Nodding enthusiastically, he suggested with a sudden bright expression, "Let's do CoCo!" 

"Ew," I winced. "CoCo? Really? You're that basic?"

Giving me a look, he laughed, "Well, what do you suggest?"

A wide smile spread across my face as I answered, "Gong Cha. Affordable and tasty."

"Gong Cha isn't all that," snorted Chase, feigning contempt. "Tell you what, we'll hit both bubble tea places then decide which place is better." He added with a discreet cough, "Spoiler alert, it's CoCo."

After I pursed my lips, pretending to be in thought, I laughed, hitting his arm playfully. "You're on."

|

When our orders arrived, I thanked the server and handed Chase his order. He poked the plastic straw into the cup and took a sip.

After a brief silence and me staring at him with anticipation, he looked at me with a playful smirk. "CoCo is by far superior," he said as he pushed away the Gong Cha drink.

I rolled my eyes. "That's 'cause you ordered the wrong thing." I passed him my milk tea and gestured for him to drink.

Hesitantly, he gulped down a handful, earning a smack from me. "Don't finish it!" I shrieked, stifling a laugh. "Good, no?"

Chase suddenly choked on a pearl, causing me to burst out into laughter. "It's just alright," he coughed, regaining his composure.

Again, I rolled my eyes. "You're just saying that because you don't want to admit that I was right."

He plastered a wan smile across his face and nudged me playfully with his elbow. "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that," he cooed sheepishly. 

My heart abruptly skipped a beat the moment his skin came into contact with mine. Feeling my cheeks heat up, I looked away and smiled. "Alright, let's try CoCo, then."

||

"Here," he said, giving me a drink and a straw, "I ordered for you."

Heart fluttering, I gave him a small smile and nodded. Shit, I mentally cussed myself out, flustered. Why am I acting like this when I already know the truth?

"You know, 'cause you might 'order wrong' like 'I did'," he added with a teasing grin, and the air quotes he used only made it funnier.

"Oh, shut up," I laughed, taking the drink from him. I jabbed the straw into the paper cup and took a small sip, getting an equal pearl to drink ratio.

"Thoughts?" asked Chase.

I stuck out my tongue. "Meh."

He chuckled, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Are your taste buds dead or something?"

"Maybe yours," I joked back.

We laughed it off, then Chase suddenly sighed. "So," he began, now with a newfound solemn tone, "what're we gonna do about this?"

"About what?" I questioned as I cocked my head to the right. Of course I knew about what, but I wasn't about to say it aloud because saying it aloud would make it seem truer than it already is, if that makes sense.

"About us," he clarified. Letting out another sigh, he continued, "Morgan and Trevor are clearly up to something, and I know they don't know."

"But I know," I added silently.

Losing confidence in himself, he shyly turned away and muttered, "Sorry about that, by the way..."

I shrugged, trying to play the cool ex-girlfriend who totally isn't hung up on her feelings or anything. "You couldn't have known." Feeling tears begin to well up in my eyes, I forced a smile and asked, "How's the guy, anyways?"

He looked back at me with a timid expression and soft eyes. "Um, he's... he's different."

"In a good way?"

This time, he flashed me a genuine smile at the thought of his man. "In the best way."

I nodded, hopefully giving him the idea that I'm okay with this... or at least, I will be okay with this.

It's not that I'm homophobic—no, I'd be the last person on earth to be homophobic—but it just hurts, you know? Chase was the first guy I actually fell for, with all strings attached. To find out that your first real crush is gay? It crushed me.

In hindsight, maybe that's why they call it a 'crush'.

Without another word, he gazed right into my eyes and asked lightly, "So, we're good?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "Chase, when I saw you making out with someone else... my whole world stopped. I thought you were a cheating bastard—" I blinked back the hot tears forming in my eyes "—and then... I saw you were with a guy. It was then that I knew... it definitely wasn't me; it was you."

My tears threatened to spill, but I went on, determined to stay strong. "It was then clear as day to me that you were having this internal fight with yourself—a battle in which you were playing both sides. Figuring out your sexuality must've been pretty difficult."

"Is that why you didn't say anything when we spotted each other?"

"Well, that and I was overcome with emotions," I said with an awkward chuckle. "You're sure now, though, right?"

Hesitantly, he nodded. "Y-yeah... I am." He threw me a weary smile and shrugged before adding, "I guess on some level, I've always known."

I smiled, satisfied that I finally got the closure I needed to move on from the boy sitting in front of me. Knowing is enough ammunition for me to convince my stubborn heart that Chase isn't the one for me; no, maybe we're fated to be just friends. I think we'd make pretty good friends, at that. 

"Then... we're good, Coco."