Blinded by Limerence

32 | The Body Isn't Cold Yet

Morgan

It was around two in the morning when I arrived home.

As I stood on the doorstep of my beloved abode, I realized that I didn't want to go in, realized that I really wasn't in the mood to see my parents standing in the living room with arms crossed and angry faces.

What would I say when they'd inevitably ask me where I've been all night? I sure as fuck can't tell them the truth, which was that their only daughter was defiled tonight by a man who isn't even her boyfriend.

A tired sigh left my lips as I hugged myself to keep the tears from flowing out again. Stay strong, I told myself.

I put the key into the keyhole and entered my house. It was dark; all the lights were turned off.

"Mom?" I called out softly. "Dad?" No response. Perhaps they were asleep. Maybe they didn't even wait up.

Hope coursed through my veins when the realization dawned on me: maybe they didn't even notice I was gone—have I gotten lucky tonight, pun not intended?—but then a slight frown made its way to my face when I realized that they didn't even notice I was gone.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw a note taped to the fridge:

Morgan,
There's a business emergency in Shanghai me and your mom have to attend to personally. There's money on the table. Be back Friday morning.
Lots of love, mom & dad

"Perfect timing," I sighed in relief. Not only were they still good parents, but I've chosen the perfect night to carelessly lose my virginity. "They must've left this morning when I was in school."

Like a silent killer, a deep feeling of loneliness came over me when I realized that I had the house all to myself. It was only me in this big, empty house.

...and I couldn't stand to be alone right now.

Mindlessly, I left the house and wandered into the empty street. I must've walked two blocks when I arrived at a certain townhouse on my street.

I walked up his driveway, the gravel crunching beneath my feet, and made my way to his door. Wracked with nerves, I pressed a shaky thumb against the doorbell, causing a buzz to ring through the house.

As soon as I heard footsteps from the other side of the door pattering against the stairs, I winced. There's a huge possibility this may have been a mistake.

Not a moment later, the door opened to reveal the face I've longed to see again. "Morgan?" he said in a raspy voice. His hair was in disarray, his clothes slightly rumpled, but he's never looked better. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. "What are you—"

I immediately cut him off with a quiet sob. "I-I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I... I didn't know where else to go, and I—" I had to stop talking because I felt a lump start to form in my throat. I was about to cry again, and I hated it.

Collin furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned down to inspect me. "Are you alright?" he questioned, his voice laced with concern.

I hung my head low. "I-I know I'm not supposed to be here," I sniffled, "but I just did something really stupid... rather, someone..."

As soon as I felt tears brimming my eyes, I immediately wiped them away with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry, but can I come in? Please?" I begged desperately. I didn't want to be alone right now, and I knew coming here was a mistake, but it's a mistake I had to make. Besides, what's another regret?

"I don't know—"

"P-please?" I stammered as another sob escaped my lips.

It seemed that Collin finally took pity on me because he stepped aside to let me into his humble abode.

I walked in quietly, and he closed the door.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

"Just... stay with me?" I ventured softly.

Hearing that, he walked over to me and enveloped me in his warm embrace. My face was buried into his chest, and his chin rested on the top of my head.

When we finally pulled away, I stared into his crystal blue eyes that seemed to read me better than anyone else could. "I'm so tired of being broken... When will I be whole again?"

"Ah," he smiled wanly, "that I can't tell you."

Confused, I asked, "Why not?"

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine and offered me another small smile. "Because, Morgan, to answer that will be to answer the true purpose of life."

His response reminded me of how smart he actually was, and I felt the hot tears coming again.

He seemed to notice and frowned. "Don't cry," he said as he gently wiped the tears trickling down my cheeks with his thumb. "Smile for me, will you?"

I tried to smile—I really did—but I just couldn't. I couldn't even force a fake one on. How could I, when my life's falling apart right before my eyes?

Leaning into his hand that now cupped my cheek, I gulped. "C-can I please stay here tonight?" I asked between sobs. "I don't want to be alone right now."

I knew it was stupid, but my head was clouded with all these thoughts of Trevor, and I couldn't possibly deal with them right now—not in this state.

"Nothing has to happen," I quickly added, which was true. After what had happened with Trevor a few hours before, I really didn't feel like doing anything questionable... again. The body isn't even cold yet, anyway.

Collin looked hesitant, but he eventually nodded.

"Just so you can feel better, Morgan."

Upon hearing that, a tint of red spread across my cheeks, and the corners of my lips twitched up into a small, barely noticeable grin. Collin, in return, chuckled and shook his head before he ruffled my hair.

Though I knew it wouldn't be long before I messed up again, as I stood there in his living room, wrapped in his warm embrace, everything seemed right in the world.