Halftime

chapter 8

It had been two days since the party. Two days since I'd got into a fight with Hayden. Two days since I'd had a panic attack in front of him. And two days since I'd spoken to him.

I had no real excuse for the last one. I had planned on texting him, but after my panic attack I'd spent the next day in bed, too exhausted to do anything. I was still yet to tell Harley what had happened and she didn't bother me about it either, giving me the space I wanted.

By the second day I'd planned to send Hayden a text but decided against it. He'd seen me in my most vulnerable state and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Mainly because I knew that if I talked to him, he'd have questions and I didn't know if I was ready to give them to him.

I hadn't even told my family the full extent of my panic attacks. They thought I had anxiety panic attacks, which I guess is somewhat true, but they don't know my triggers, or why I started getting them in the first place. The only people who knew in detail were Harley, Ophelia and Jess.

I woke up this morning knowing that I should talk to Hayden. But before I did that, I had to talk to Harley first. She deserved to know what happened, especially after worrying over me for the full night and day that followed.

I rolled myself out of bed and pulled on a hoodie over my tank top before making my way to our kitchen.

Our apartment wasn't anything big. It had a small kitchen that was connected to the tv room, which we'd managed to squish two couches into and way more pillows than necessary. There was a small hallway at the back of the tv room which led to the shared bathroom and mine and Harley's rooms were on either side of the bathroom.

Our rooms weren't anything big or special either. Just big enough for us to fit in a double bed, a desk and a few dressers. Harley had also fit in a vanity table which we shared for makeup and hair.

I walked into the kitchen to find Harley standing at the stove cooking some bacon. She was whistling a tune but at the sound of my entrance she stopped and smiled at me.

"Hey Vee," she said and scooped some bacon on a plate for me, "how you feeling today?"

I grabbed some maple syrup and drenched my bacon in it. Harley really was a professional bacon cooker in my opinion. She knew how to make it extra crunchy and crispy. Just the way I liked it.

"Good," I told her honestly and continued to munch on the bacon.

She finished cooking before taking a seat next to me, "do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded my head slowly. What I've learnt from the past few years was that talking things out always helped. And was always better than suppressing emotions. I'd learnt that from experience.

"Do you know what triggered it?" Harley asked.

I nodded again. "I got into a fight with Hayden," I started to explain, "and it didn't really go that well so I said I was leaving. He grabbed my arm and said that he wouldn't let me leave while I was drunk. But... he didn't let go and I freaked."

Harley wrapped her arm around me, "aw babe. I'm so sorry. I'm glad that I slapped him."

I laughed, "as much as I enjoyed that you did slap him, I'm not so sure he deserved it."

"What do you mean?" Harley asked, "he led you on only to flirt with some other chick in front of you."

"Well it's not like we are together or anything," I said with a shrug, "and he said that it seemed like I was dodging him."

Harley scoffed, "typical men. Always making it seem like you are at fault."

"Harles," I exclaimed but still smiled. No matter what she always took my side, even if I was wrong. One of the many things I loved about her. "He has a point. I didn't text him at all, barely spoke to him when I did, objectively speaking, he was trying to get to know me and I was shutting him down."