GRISHAVERSE X READERS

A MEMORY PART II [KAZ BREKKER]

Characters: Y/N (female), Kaz Rietveld/Brekker, Jordie Rietveld, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey

Warnings: mentions of violence and death, language (not in dialogue), angst (or hurt/comfort), Kaz is a bit soft, also I'm not sure how Kaz has been as a child and didn't find any proper info about it but for some reason I've been in belief that he was rather sweet, naive and innocent? But if it's described in the book and he wasn't like that, I apologize. As I said, I'm unable to read the books at the moment.

Summary: Y/N tries to find out what happened and reconnect with her best friend.

Word count: 2k

Rain had started on the moment you heard about Kaz's new life and hadn't stopped since. It pounded against the roof and windows, worsening your racing thoughts. It was like the sky had decided to emphasize your guilty feeling about leaving Kaz growing up all alone and made a violent shower of rain pour over Ketterdam.

You had sat down there with Inej and Jesper for a couple of hours, just sitting in silence mostly, trying to consume the fact that your friend wasn't the Kaz you had known before. That he was known as Dirtyhands and was feared around Ketterdam. Jesper tried to ask about your life occasionally, and you had told him about the family you had worked for, about your life and how you were planning to continue forward after leaving Kerch. And as you answered that, you realized that you didn't want to leave anymore. Ketterdam held a bunch of cursed, bad people and hellish places comparable to the Fold, people murdering and beating each other up just for fun and corruption was seen all over the city, especially at the Barrel which you wanted to escape, but Kaz was the reason you had tolerated it all fifteen years ago, and you wanted to re-establish your friendship with him.

But if he had really changed as much as Jesper's horror stories told you, ripping eyes out and torturing people who acted against him, was he a safe person to be friends with anymore? And judging by how he hadn't come down after going upstairs after you had tried to hug him, you feared that he was mad with you for abandoning him like that. Inej said that he's scared to face you, his childhood friend who knew who he was before becoming Kaz Brekker. Before people learned about how cruel he could be.

Eventually you had to stand up and make your way to his office door. You had to talk to him, you had to know what he was thinking. You had to let him know you were sorry for abandoning him.

You knocked and after hearing a faint grunt, you opened the door. You knew he knew it was you.

He didn't say anything and tried to busy himself with writing something down. But you knew he did it just so he wouldn't have to face you. Something had happened, something which caused him not being able to communicate with you normally.

"What do you want, Y/N?" he finally asked as you had stood at the doorway for a moment, and you swallowed.

"What happened?" you asked, going straight to the point as you took a careful step forward. He didn't look up from his papers but didn't tell you to stop either, so you continued walking toward his desk in tiny, slow steps.

"What do you mean?" he asked as he pushed a blueprint aside before starting to write on another paper.

You sighed. "You weren't like this when we were children."

He paused with writing, but quickly returned to it. "I've always been like this."

You shook your head, finally taking another step which allowed you to stand right in front of his desk. "No, you haven't. The Kaz I know-"

"That Kaz is gone. Kaz Rietveld is dead." he interrupted you abruptly, his voice came out as sharp and you could hear he didn't want to hear the end of your sentence.