GRISHAVERSE X READERS

COMFORT [KAZ BREKKER]

"I love ur work, could I pls request a fic with Kaz Brekker and Hugging for the first time (G13)"

A/N: The idea for this was surprisingly easy to make up, but the execution was... difficult. Kaz is a very difficult character for any fluff, you know? I love him so much and would like to give him the biggest hug if he'd accept it but that man is hard to write for and still I feel like I want to write all the fics for him right now XD Is it masochistic??? Don't know but I really enjoy writing for Kaz despite it being hard. Missed that feeling after a year of not having a proper character crush. But I hope you still like it!!

Warnings: death of family members, gore, angst, hurt/comfort?? Had to have a good reason for Kaz to feel the need to hug someone so have a bunch of reasons.

Word count: 605

"They're dead." you heard your voice say. It didn't have any emotion. Your eyes were teary and you were holding a tissue in your hand, but you didn't feel any emotion. Just endless numbness. Seeing your family slaughtered into their house flashed through your mind over and over again with no end in sight. All you could see was them scattered around the house. Your father had been shot right after opening the door, his brains splattered to the wall. Your big brother still having a kitchen knife in his hand in an attempt to fight back, to protect your mother and little sister. They had fled to kitchen, and Inej had pulled you away before you saw them, indicating it would be too hard to see for you.

You swallowed, sitting on an armchair in Kaz's office where he had invited you to calm down.

He wasn't a therapist, he didn't know how to comfort with words. He had already ordered Inej to track down those people who murdered your family, but that's the most he could do, at least he felt like that. He should be able to do more, caring about you more than others. It pained him to see you miserable like that.

You stood up from the armchair, wanting to scream that you wanted to kill those people personally, that you wanted to make them suffer, but you weren't like that. You were more like a planner, your mind exploring every nook and fault plans had. You were extraordinary in it, and now someone had tried to break you down.

For the first time in many, many years he wanted to reach out to you, hold on to you until you'd feel better, but he didn't know if he was ready. What if he would push you away after you'd accept the sentiment, making you feel even worse?

But with a deep inhale, he stepped in front of you and looked at you slowly breaking to sobs. He had to do something, he couldn't bear to see you like that. So he closed his eyes and slowly reached out.

And then you felt an arm slowly wrapping around your shoulders and a chin pressed against the top of your head.

He was hugging you.

The hug was stiff and awkward, but the thought mattered. You didn't dare to hug back, but let yourself lean against Kaz for a bit before slowly backing up, wiping your eyes and offering him a small smile.

"Thank you." you muttered, your voice still raspy but your mood a bit lighter. It wasn't an everyday thing for Kaz to hug people, in fact you were fairly sure he would never be ready. But seeing your pain and knowing it was partly because you were one of the Dregs... it made him feel guilty. He was the one who recruited you in the first place after all. And even though Jesper or Inej could have comforted you better without being awkward, you felt a connection with Kaz. You had always felt that connection. You didn't know how to explain it, it just... was there.

Kaz nodded, sighing. "You should rest."

You nodded too, making your way to the door and glancing at Kaz just before opening it, again smiling slightly at him.

He just watched you exit the door, before he closed his eyes for a bit. Having you pressed against him had his head screaming to let go, sure, but... it wasn't something he wouldn't be ready to do again if you needed it.

If it made you feel better, it would be worth it.