GRISHAVERSE X READERS

RARE KINDNESS [KAZ BREKKER

Based on E27. Waking up after a nightmare

A/N: This is about Y/N having the nightmare, but the next chapter is where Kaz is the one having the nightmare!

Warnings: nightmares, mentions of death and violence

Word count: almost 1k

"Let go of me!" you screamed as you saw your best friend reaching out to you.

"Y/N, don't go, please! Help me!" Disa screamed after you, but the Crows dragged you away, not caring about Disa's pleas.

"Let go, they need help!"

"They can't be helped anymore, Y/N!" Kaz shouted and you let out another sob.

"Let go of me! No!"

"No!" you screamed as you shot up in your bed, immediately hearing footsteps lunging from upstairs and soon Kaz was at your door, ready to fight, but instead he was met with you sweaty and crying, and he let out a tiny sigh of relief as he realized that you were physically okay.

But Kaz knew far too well how you felt. He had had violent nightmares about Jordie and the sea for years. Your nightmares were still fresh and there was so many routes they could make, never leaving you alone. Always taking you by surprise, making it a terrifying experience each time.

Despite Kaz knowing how such nightmares felt like, he didn't really know how to comfort you. You were covered in sweat and getting your erratic breathing in control, but your eyes still held that look of terror. Kaz tried to think something to say, but he couldn't think of anything. So he just sat beside the bed, placing his cane in between his legs.

If Kaz was anyone else, you both being quiet in such situation would have been weird or awkward, but you knew Kaz well enough to know that him sitting there and not just leaving after seeing you were physically alright was his way to comfort you. He was wordlessly telling you that you're safe and at the Slat. You weren't there in the middle of a heist, forced to watch your best friend bleeding out.

Kaz felt guilty about making you go through that. You and Disa were inseparable, and a heist he had planned had went south after a guard had left the duty to make out with his girlfriend in that very room where they were performing a heist. Disa hadn't reacted quickly enough and they had been shot. You had tried to stay behind to help them, but the rest of the crows knew they were already gone. Kaz had personally pulled you away, defied his touch aversion to snatch your wrist and pull you away by force, letting Inej take control after that.

You were screaming at them, begging, ordering them to let go because you had to save Disa and it broke Kaz's heart despite him showing out a stony, emotionless expression. When you just wouldn't calm down and almost escaping Inej, Matthias had to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder so you'd all make it out alive. You called all of them heartless monsters, but they all had seen it, you included. The light Disa always had in their eyes had dimmed the moment they fell to the floor. There was no way of saving them. You knew it too deep inside, but you had refused to believe it for weeks. You had refused to talk to the crew for a few days and they had left you food behind your door. But eventually you understood that it wasn't their fault. Your mind had told you that from the beginning, but during your heartbreak you couldn't decipher why they wouldn't even try saving them. The Crows knew how close you and Disa were, and they wouldn't even try.

But now, when Kaz sat by your bedside, you could almost see Disa smiling teasingly at you. They had always told you that Kaz likes you and you had shoved their shoulder, grinning from ear to ear as your face heated up.

"Shut up," you heard your echoing voice saying. Now the memory almost made you cry. It felt so distant and unreal. That they had been just a dream, only here for a little while, their life borrowed to grace you with their presence.

Kaz looked down, his eyes skimming your pile of books you kept beside your bed as you hugged your knees.

"Can I read to you?" Kaz suddenly asked. Your eyes shot up at him in surprise. Disa always used to lull you into sleep by reading a chapter of a book if you needed help with sleeping. Kaz knew that. You stared at him, completely dumbfounded by his question.

"What?" you blurted out, unable to stop yourself and you wanted to slap yourself right after. "I- I mean that... yeah. If you want to."

Kaz nodded, picking up a book that had been lying there since Disa had put it down after they had heard you snoring. He ran his gloved hand over the fancy cover before he opened it and moved the bookmark to the side.

"It was dark, but it was comforting. Mori sat in the candlelight and just listened to the sound of the old building quietly creaking in the wind, and smiled to herself." he began, and you already felt much more calm and content. It felt like Disa had dropped by and asked Kaz to continue the tradition they had started together. To bring you closer. It would be so like them, and listening to Kaz's voice and smiling at him a bit as his eyes looked at the book, his lips moving just slightly as he read with a quiet and calming voice, and it made you feel like maybe Disa was now in peace. And you had a tingle of hope, hope that you could be happy again someday.

Kaz rarely showed kindness like this, but when he did, it was valued more than all the riches in the world.