GRISHAVERSE X READERS

[KAZ BREKKER DRABBLE]

Based on the song Pikkuveli by PMMP, I had a 2k followers event in which I let Spotify to decide songs for my song drabbles.

Warnings: melancholic, places itself to the time when Kaz has just survived from Reaper's Barge...

Word count: 704

The sky is pitch-black and the trees are dark / When I travel to city from my little brother's place / I would have wanted to stay at home / To wake up early to the thumps of the snowplow

The sky was pitch black as rain poured upon Ketterdam, drawing out the stench from the sewers. People were either gone home or going home, except for some drunks at the clubs around the Barrel. You tried to keep up with Kaz, who was agitated and walked quickly through the streets. You started to feel out of breath and took a few running steps towards your brother while wrapping your cloak tighter around yourself.

"Kaz, slow down!" you called after him, and he turned, a dangerous look in his eyes. You shuddered at it, you almost didn't recognize Kaz from those eyes. You gulped, staring down at him.

Always stay as my little brother and a bird, never become a man / I don't want any more adults in our home

"I have to find Hertzoon, I... he needs to pay," Kaz breathed out and you took a tentative step forward, tears prickling in your eyes upon remembering Jordie, what had happened just days earlier. The street you were on was completely empty, one of the less used alleyways so nobody was bothering you. Kaz shivered slightly from the rain, you had nursed him back to his health for the last few days, only to be met with someone who didn't remind you of Kaz.

You slowly unclasped your cloak, exposing your arms to the cold, but Kaz needed the cloak more right now. He had just been sick and almost died, and you definitely didn't want to take a risk of losing him again. Kaz eyed at the cloak, then at you and you threw it over him, careful not to touch him but still tugged the cloak tighter around him, clasping the buckle shut. You wanted to cup his cheek or rub his arm and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but you had already learned that Kaz couldn't stand touch anymore, and you had to do everything you could to make him feel safe. At least, as safe as possible.

He reluctantly wrapped the cloak tighter around himself to warm himself up, glancing at you again and a flash of concern passed through his eyes, before he took in a long breath and lifted his chin up, the coldness in his eyes returning.

"We have to find Hertzoon," he repeated the mantra he had been saying ever since he had gotten better, and you nodded slowly. He turned around, making his way towards the house where Hertzoon tricked you all to be living in, hoping to get a lead there and you continued to follow him.

I know that the weak boys meet / In men's toilets to get their beating

Ketterdam was beating the weak, picking out the ones who won't manage - and Kaz seemed to know it. He apparently had decided to become stronger, tougher... and you didn't like to see the person he was potentially going to be. Would he be feared, ruthless, without conscience? Doing anything for money, like some of the criminals around the Barrel seemed to be - killing people for money. Just a few weeks ago, you wouldn't have known that Kaz could ever turn out to be like that. Just a few weeks ago, you three had been alive. Hungry and cold, yes. But alive. And Kaz had the biggest heart than any other child you had known, but now... he seemed to have lost his heart.

But (my) little brother still reads comics in the morning / In bed with me, in bed with me

You just wished he wouldn't grow up, you wished this all could be reversed. If your father hadn't died like that, you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't be afraid that Kaz, your little brother, would become a man who people would be afraid of. You wished that his anger would subside soon enough, and he would stay as your little brother - that he would heal. That you could hold him one day again after he had seen a nightmare. To offer him comfort without him pulling away. Tickle him or hear him laugh at your jokes. Anything that would prove that Kaz was still your brother and not becoming one of the emotionless monsters at the Barrel. Just a few weeks ago, you had had to protect him from one of them.

But instead, you were afraid that he would grow out to be just like that. And that this new person who was brewing inside him would completely abandon your little brother, and you'd never get him back again.

Always stay as my little brother and a bird, never become a man / I don't want any more adults in our home

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My last piece for a while, so if I'm inactive for some time, don't think I've quit writing this. I just need to take care of other stuff right now.

Thank you for your patience!