GRISHAVERSE X READERS

[KAZ BREKKER DRABBLE]

Prompt: "Look, I know we don't know each other very well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone."

Warnings: kind of angsty, but kinda also hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol consumption

Word count: 722

It was a stormy day at Ketterdam today, unbelievably windy paired with freezing rain. Most people were inside in their houses, but Kaz had stubbornly made his way to the club to do some paperwork, where he found you to be sweeping the floors. And now, you were waiting for the storm to pass, sitting at the bar counter with a bottle of kvas beside you, but you hadn't even finished the first glass during this whole hour, barely even talking.

"Can I ask you something?" you suddenly blurted out, and Kaz slowly nodded. "Um... you have seemed... different this week. It looks like sadness and... if you want to talk about-"

He stiffened suddenly and clenched his jaw, and you muttered a quiet "sorry" in fear he'd bark at you. You sat in silence for a moment more, before Kaz took in a deep sigh.

"It's... nothing. You imagine things," he said, his brows furrowed and the leather in his gloves creaked when his hands shifted.

Maybe you should have known better, but you still decided to ask more. "Okay, I understand. Do you have any friends to talk to? Someone you trust?"

"No. I don't have friends. It's better to be alone. I learned that the hard way." Kaz rasped out, sighing as he turned the glass in his hands.

You cocked your head. "What do you mean?"

He didn't answer, just staring at the glass in front of him. On that moment, you kind of hoped to get inside his head and see what he was thinking, but on the other hand... you weren't sure if you really wanted to know.

"Look, I know we don't know each other very well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone," you then quietly said, still being met by silence. It was strange sitting at the empty club, the walls creaking slightly in the wind. You sitting with Dirtyhands himself by the bar counter, foolishly hoping he would open up his heart to you.

You were known to solve problems, being a part-time therapist within the Dregs. You liked to help people and had this ability to get people open up about their problems. But Kaz Brekker was a tougher nut than most, you had sat there for an hour, Kaz still had the same drink he poured to himself when he sat down with you.

But at least he hadn't left. If he felt uncomfortable or frustrated on someone, he'd leave. That was a good sign, at least you believed so.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," you softly told him when silence had continued for several minutes and you were sure he wouldn't open his mouth at all. "But I want you to know that I can listen if you ever want to talk about anything."

Kaz nodded slowly again, maybe not even noticing it, but he nodded, and you offered him a soft smile as you stood up and returned to cleaning the place up for tomorrow.

You had been right though - Kaz was sad. He just thought he had hidden it well, but your observant eye probably didn't miss anything.

It was the anniversary of his rebirth. When the old Kaz died with his brother. He would have thought that after all these years, he would learn to forget that night, get over his nightmares and traumas - the little Kaz Rietveld abandoned completely. But Brekker was still reminded about him and his brother every time his skin brushed against someone else's skin, demons in his sleep and as ghosts whenever he saw those stairs he had stumbled up after making it out from the Reaper's Barge. He avoided looking at those stairs, and fortunately he hadn't had to look at them either - it wasn't like he'd want to go on a morning swim sometime.

Maybe someday he'd get rid of Rietveld. Maybe he'd even use your help for it - but it would be a long way to get to that. He hadn't even talked to you properly after hiring you, but you still had an aura around you which made him want to trust you... and it oddly gave him hope. Even when hope was dangerous.

Maybe it would get better eventually, and he'd get rid of his demons.