hard to love

chapter 104

Opies POV

Im broken. I couldnt let go of my kids, they were all I had left of Taylor. How am I supposed to tell them their mama is gone? I keep telling them how much I love them.

Right now I wish Taylor never moved back to charming, then she would still be alive. I wouldn't have the love of my life but our kids would atleast still have their mother.

Tig kept making juice play the recording from Jax house earlier. From the time she got there until Cameron forced them out the door at gun point.

"Why was she drinking so much? She looks mad. My baby." He touched the computer screen like it would bring her back. "Why Ly?" He sobbed out.

She shook her head "it wasn't important." Jax whispered something to her. "No it was something private she wouldn't want me telling everyone."

"SHES GONE! I need to know her last moments. Please baby tell me." Tig pleaded.

"She kept telling me to make sure you and the kids knew how much she loved you. Told me to tell everyone." She started crying "she gave herself up for me. He wanted me said the Sons killed his Eddie, came for me for payback then realized I was pregnant. She wouldn't let him touch me. She told him she would be more useful than I would told jax was just with me since I was pregnant. He would get farther with the Sons and IRA because she was more important. He said the IRA had been wanting her for years."

"What was you talking about before he kicked the door in."

"The twins, Opie, abel, Jax, mary. Different stuff."

"What about mary?" Pop asked

"She went to visit them earlier. Taylor and her argued so she dropped the kids off with gemma and came over told me I wasn't allowed to clean."

"I didnt know she was coming over."

Everyone looked at me. It was the first time I said anything since we got back.

"She was mean to mama. Mama made her leave."

"Opie I don't think Taylor wanted you to know what Mary said and done. Please can we just stop." Lyla asked pacing as she rubbed her stopped.

I would never get to see Taylor pregnant, I had the pictures from the twins pregnancy but we were going to have another one.

"What the fuck did Mary say to her?!" Tig yelled

"Tig don't yell at her like that! If Taylor didn't want anyone else knowing let it go." Jax told him.

"Im sorry baby. I just- she was hurting and now, now I can't fix it cause she's gone."

"No she was okay tig. I'm sorry I can't belive she's gone, I don't feel like she is. I need her." She cried out. "I'm sorry I need to leave." She began to walk out.

"Aunt ly?" Jameson called out.

"Will you take a nap with me?"

"Oh of course baby come one we can go to the back. Nova you sleepy?"

I carried my kids back to the room I share, shared with their mother. I helped them kids lay down so they wouldn't be on Lyla.

"Ope."

"Yeah ly."

"I probably shouldn't tell you but Mary done a DNA test on them. Said she told Donna they probably weren't yours and helped convince her to hide it. She told she always hoped you would settle down with Donna and leave the club, that you were bringing her around Mary for months before Taylor went to New York."

I didnt say anything.

"I guess since you're not correcting me I guess it's true. She didnt want to believe it. But I know deep down she did, she asked me why you would do that. Why she was never your first pick, if you were with her just because of who she is, she knows the club and lives this life. If thats all true I hate you. Tig said she died hurting but if he really killed her she didn't just die hurting, she had a broken heart yet again because of you. In my heart I won't let myself believe she's dead until I see her myself. Now please get out."

I never wanted taylor to know any of that. I love her, she's my best friend and the mother of my kids.

"I love Taylor more than anything."

"You have always had a funny way of showing it Opie." Lyla scoffed.

I walked out to get a drink.

"Juice We need to start tracking Cameron down. Let's get SAMBEL on the phone give them a heads up. Tig do you want to call her let her know about Taylor maybe she can help us get cameron."

"No I don't want until I have proof our baby girl is gone."