hard to love

chapter 66

taylors POV

its been three months since i moved to new york. i still talk to my dad almost every day, i talk to gemma just about as much as i do my dad, and jax and lyla call me atleast once a week if i dont call them.

opie called me the month i was here but i wouldnt answer. that was the hardest part was breaking myself away from him. i went from having him in my life everyday since i was a kid to not even talking. he was my best friend and now hes nothing but the guy who broke my heart.

im cooking dinner and waiting on my neighbor to come over, we cooked for each other several times a week so we arent always alone and to help save money.

i heard him come in holding a twenty-four pack of beer.

i laughed "you sure know a way to a girl heart J."

he sat the case down on the floor since there wasnt much counter space and the table was pretty small. he took two out "i thought that was with something completely different, next time i go to sleep with a woman ill just buy her beer instead." he said laughing.

"yeah yeah real funny."

"whatever youre cooking smells amazing tay. i grabbed a couple movies from the redbox." he said throwing his thumb towards the tv

"its just tacos J." i told him chuckling.

"anything i can help with." he asked. i had him wash and cut the lettuce and tomato. "how are you feeling?" he asked me "im good J. thank you for everything".

i thought back to the first time i met J. it was the day after happy left, i went to get some more groceries. i was walking up the steps when a bag busted "fuckin shit." i tried to pick the stuff up without dropping anything else. "here let me help" he said as he picked everything up. i smiled at him "thank you." "no problem" i unlocked my door and he followed me inside.

"really thank you so much. i now know not to buy so much at a time"

"its really no problem. next time let me know ahead of time and ill help before the bag busts." he said laughing.

"im taylor. nice to meet you."

"juan carlos. good to meet you to." he said with a smile.

i offered him a beer. we sat at my kitchen table and talked for hours. i told him about opie and all that had happened. i made sure to not include anything about the club except just that it was a club.

"wow im so sorry he done that to you. thats fucked up." he said shaking his head "yeah tell me about it. but thats okay i guess i was meant to be here after all, plus im gonna make it big after art school and show him what hes missing" we both laughed.

he told me about his family and all his computer stuff. i called him J and he normally called me T or tay. we only used each others full name when we were mad or something was wrong.

on the day i was supposed to marry opie i didnt want to get out of bed. but Juan carlos drug me out of bed and made me go out. "were going on an adventure. get dressed." he said jumping on my bed.

id only known him for a few days but it felt like longer. i groaned "no. how did you get in here anyway" i asked peeking out of my blanket "i may or may not have picked the lock. you wasnt answering. now get dressed. im not letting you lay in this bed and cry all day. get up, take a shower and get dressed. im gonna start coffee. if i come back and your not up im throwing you in the shower in your pajamas." he stood up "how do you know im not naked huh?" i asked him. "well i guess if youre naked and still in this bed when i get back ill get to see you naked as i throw your ass in the shower. come on T we gotta go" he said walking out of my bedroom.

i walked out of my room showered and dressed. "took you long enough" he said passing me a mug if coffee "oh hush todays my wedding day."

he sighed "i have to ask, as your friend. do you want to go get him? i can get us two tickets and you can be there and get married?"

"god no. its just hard you know" i said

"okay good. now today is going to be a good day. youre not going to be all sad and shit. were going on and adventure. im going to make sure youre laughing all day."

thats he did. we went all over new York city that day. opie called and texted me all day. eventually Juan took my phone and gave me his in case i needed it in am emergency. qe done all the shit tourists do in new york. then we went on a alcohol tasting tour. we both go drunk and ended up passing out once we got to my apartment.

that was the first night he staye the night but nothing happened. we both agreed even though we thought the other was hot we just needed a friend. he instantly became my best friend here. we spent most of our time off together and if we both had the night off stayed the night at each others apartment. he went with me when i took pictures and alot of the times was my model.

even though i had jake, tyler and amber in new york. i was happy to have J, he was a new face but he understood it all. we all went out together every couple of weeks.

"yooo T you good" i heard J say snapping me out of my thoughts.

"yeah sorry i was just thinking about when we first met." i told him as i turned off the stove.

"oh yeah. you daydream about me often?" he asked teasing me

"i don't just day dream. i have other dreams about you too." i said winking at him.

"oh yeah. tell me about these dreams" we both laughed.

we started talking about work and shit when my phone started ringing. it was jax.

"hey jax" i said answering the phone. he was quiet. oh god.
"whats wrong" i asked i knew something was up.
"tay. its tig hes been shot. they got him in surgery now. you should get here." i started crying and dropped the phone, the battery came out and i collapsed. my daddy.

"taylor what is it. calm down. talk to me. what happened." J said.

i barely got out what jax said between my sobs.

"okay heres whats going to happen. turn this all off. ill go pack you a bag and call tyler see if you can use his rich people shit and get home. your dads going to be okay T." he said putting my phone back together and put it in my hand.

before i knew it he was dragging me to take a shower. i couldnt even think straight. "i cant lose my dad Juan. i wont survive" i said as he undressed and got me in the shower. he basically gave me a shower before helping me get dressed. "hell be okay T. come on tylers got the jet ready. i got your bag packed." he pulled me out the door.

he called for a cab and helped me get in. we drove to the airport in silence. Juan held me as i silently cried. i didnt even realize we got to the airport until i heard tylers voice.

"taylor." i heard him say my name he was holding the door open to the cab. "come here T" he held his hand out. i got out and we walked through to his family jet.

J pulled me into a hug "itll be okay. ill take care of everything here and watch your apartment. let me know when you get there. just take care of your dad okay T." he kissed my head.

"yeah okay J. thanks. be safe." i said kissing his cheek.

he squeezed me "try not to drive yourself insane. if hes any thing like you he will be okay. youre stong as hell T." he walked me to the steps of the jet. i loked back at him right before i got on, he smiled up at me and waved. i gave a small smile.

i sat down next to tyler and texted jax to tell him i was on the way.