hard to love

chapter 95

taylors POV

its been a month since kozik brought me hobart. everything has been pretty calm with the club which i know probably wont last.

tara left town again after she realozed jax didnt want her. she did try though. she got real brave and tried to tell ly that her and jax hooked up, she said it was a day when he was on a run. it seemed like it could have happened. opie and happy even vouched for jax that it never happened and that they were in fact on a run. it wasnt long after that, that tara left town again. i dont know what made her decide to come back now of all times i figured it had something to do with donna but no one knew.

me and opie have been coparenting easily. one the weekends he doesnt have something to do for the club we do something as a family. weve actually hung out a few times without our kids, its helped build our friendshsip back up. we can now laugh about the old times no problem.

ive gotten pretty close with the guys again and i really hate that i left well ran. i missed out on time with my family but i cant change that now. me and juice are still close like we were in new york. its still weird to call him juice and alot of the times is call him J. i know the newer croweaters hated me because of how close i was with the guys. they still cheered when i would walk into the clubhouse which made me laugh.

i pulled into TM with my babies in the back they got excited once they seen where we were. i let them both out as opie walked towards us.

"daddyyy!!!!" they both yelled. he just got back from a three day run a couple hours ago. you would think it had been weeks they havent seen him.

he scooped them up with ease and walked back towards the tables where everyone else was. i laughed hearing them both talking to him about their morning.

"hey baby" my dad said hugging me "hey dad." i sat down next to him.

i listened as the guys talked and joked around. some croweaters started showing up to help get ready for the party. atleast they were dressed decently, for now. once it got closer to party time i figured it was best to take the kids home. i walked over to the playground area where opie had them swinging. i loved to see how much he cared about our kids, you could see the love from all three of them.

"whats going on in that head baby?" gemma asked walking up next to me

"he looks happy. they look happy gem. he is so proud to have them and loves them so much. i just hate that he missed out on so much. i never wanted that."

"baby you had no idea. you tried to protect your babies from pain, thats all you could do given the situation you both were put in. its fixed now. even though i would have loved to be there for you baby. jax says you done a great job when you were in labor, he said hes never seen something so amazing but so terrifying at the same time." we both laughed

"honestly i wasnt going to call anyone. i didnt want to put anyone in the spot to where they would have to chose. but once the time came and i started dilating and having the contractions i needed my dad. juice told me the entire time to call or come back, talk to opie in person. but my stubborn ass refused, if he didnt want my babies we didnt need him. god was i so wrong. i knew clay wouldnt let my dad come alone and i knew he would send happy with him. i knew jax woud want to come i didnt want him to be in that spot. but god am i so glad they were there. im sorry gemma i really wanted you there but i know your mama bear instincts would have kicked in. you would have come back and kicked opies ass. i didnt want that, i didnt want anyone saying anything to him about my kids. i didnt want yall to look or treat him different or him feel forced to be in his kids life that wouldnt have been fair on him or my babies. i knew you wouldnt let him get away. but now that I wish i would have. he would have known sooner and they wouldnt have missed out on so much."