Tutoring | Severus Snape x Reader

Chapter Twenty Three

Numb. You had detached yourself from your feelings entirely, or at least tried to since the day you woke up. However, no matter how hard you tried, the lingering feeling of sadness was always there for you in the corner, accompanied by its best friend anger... or well put in a nicer tone. Bitterness. You had stopped turning up to your potions tutoring entirely, although it was quickly replaced with after school detentions that you didn't do anything in. During the short space of time you had cut off ties with all your friends, you couldn't let yourself be disappointed by them in the same way. Being alone was the only way to truly survive now. Even though this was the case, you were also passing all your classes with flying O's with the exception of Potions of course.

Sat in the library you continued to study, it wasn't necessary for you however it was a good time filler. Extra credit never hurt anyone either. Sadly it wasn't long before your silence was interrupted by a group of noisy Gryffindors, abruptly standing up you quickly charmed the books to go back to their original shelves before leaving the once quiet space. Your focus was entirely off-put now, there was no way you could work in those conditions. Speed walking back to the Slytherin common room you made your way to your dorm, grabbing a book before falling onto your sheets and staring up at the silver tassels you used to love oh so much. You laid there for a while, remembering the way things used to be not so long ago, barely over two months ago you were as happy as you could. Now you were here, alone, with no ones care but your own in the entire school.

'It's better this way... they were just dragging you down' the voice whispered softly, it was so deadly to live like this. Listening to the voice of someone you barely knew in your mind, agreeing and complying with everything it said. If it told you not to eat? you wouldn't eat. If it told you not to see your friends? you wouldn't see your friends. As the voice did say, it was most definitely better this way.

Staying in your dorm you waited out the rest of lunch until your next class, reading to your heart's content until you had to leave. Though it was not without a pang of sadness within you to recognise that you had potions class. Once you had entered the class you hurried to sit at your desk, slamming down your notebook earning a glare from a particular professor you would rather not name. 'You don't need him' the voice whispered again, without fail the voice would reassure you of things it had already convinced. Unlike usual the lesson dragged on, your eyes growing heavier by the second due to your lack of energy.

"Miss (L/N)!" Snape yelled as he slammed his hands down on your desk, feeling major deja vu you glared up at the professor. He used to recoil slightly at the behaviour, however his once loving and concerned stare had been replaced with his regular intense one. You let out an exhale before looking to the side, "What Professor?" you murmured barely able to bring yourself to talk to him. "If you had been paying any kind of attention you would have realised that class ended five minutes ago. Get. Out." his voice seethed with anger and for a second you lost your numbness, every emotion seeping in, every thought left out clouding through your mind.