We never know (snowfall change)

Chapter-25 (part 2)

Happy birthday Levi, this is the gift you get for not being a good friend. I told myself.

The view and the snow was beautiful as it should be, my cloths kept me warm as it needed to be and I kept running and running and running until I fell down on the snow, I ended up at the bridge where people were rare. The silence was cruel, it made the voice on my mind louder.

What-should I do? w-what is going on? why? I wish this is just a nightmare . . . . . NO, Drey can't be dying . . .. H-He is going to be a great soccer player . . .  H-He will be the best, he have dreams . . .  He can't die. NO.

My mind was the only sound and it was too loud that I forgot I was alone. My face was all wet, my nose was runny it made me hard to breathe, my chest was heavy because of the weight my heart was carrying.

I was sinking into the snow and my soul would have given up if I didn't hear that voice, the voice that kept me warm, the voice that I love, Miles.

"Are you okay?", he asked huffing because he ran after me. I didn't know I could run so fast that his long legs took some time to reach me.

I shook my head. "Why didn't you tell me that he wasn't fine?"

He pulled me up holding my shoulders. "Because it is his battle and he wanted to fight it himself, because you've had your own battle and you won it and he didn't wanna give you another battle to fight which isn't yours."

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly because it was meaningless to question, because it was just too late to do anything.

I stood there silently listening to him breathing, listening to his stare, mentally putting back the pieces of me and calming myself down, turning the volume of my thoughts down so that no one could hear not even myself.

Miles stood there staring at me and when he finally noticed that I had calmed down, he forced a smile and pulled my hand, tapping the watch he gifted me he said, "What had happened, happened for a reason and we can never do anything about it but what is yet to come is in our hands so, Levi. My love. Lets not waste our time but use the times left for Drey, for our friendship. Alright?"

My arms slowly moved forward sliding them around his waist and pulled him for a hug. My head on his chest, the safest place I could ever be.

"I'll remember your words, Miles."

My ears detected his heartbeat as he patted my head. It was racing faster and faster. Miles was fighting his own battle, a battle which some people refused to help him with, a battle within himself, an underrated battle.

After some minutes of silence without any words exchanged, he finally said, "Let's go to Drey."

I felt the numbness of my body and my nose sent those sharp signs and my eyes became blurry with tears again.

"Let's run", my voice disappeared within a centimeter of my mouth, it was so low, almost like the words never meant to come out. "Let's run. Miles, let's run to our . . b-best f-friend", I said it louder and gave him a tiny smile.

His lips parted to say something but he just nodded and offered his hand and so I pulled his hand and ran, ran as fast as I could.

Pancreatic adenocarcinoma cancer. It sounds like It'll be the name of an ancient talented Russian painter but actually it's the cancer that is eating Drey's life day by day.

Pancreatic cancer is one of the rarest types  of cancer and I don't know why out of all the people, Drey had to be a victim of it. It doesn't show any symptoms at the early stages, the symptoms starts to reveal themselves only at the later stages (cunning). When Drey's healthy life was getting disturbed he didn't take it seriously but when he realized that it wasn't a normal thing, it was too late for him or anyone, any human to save him.

"I was suppose to move to LA but Drey said he gets lonely sometimes and he didn't want to be lonely in his last days without both his bestfriends", Miles said sadly as we walked towards Drey's house because we were tired after running a long way.

I silently looked at him expecting him to continue. "He was forced to give up everything, soccer, studying but he never gave up to smile and be happy . . . And when ever I cry and break down he'd tell me not to cry over what we can't control, that's life and we are so lucky to be born once and to live all the way here . . .  but. . . .", he stopped.

"But?", I asked him, pushing my body closer to his.

"B-But sometimes his motivational words reminds me that his days are getting shorter than his words."

I used to cry at 2 am just by the thoughts of losing my bestfriends but now that 2am thoughts were actually happening and it was too painful to just cry for it.

"He is going through his treatments . . . . .  chemotherapy, though it'll not cure him but only extend his days . . .  He," Miles took a deep breath. "He was waiting for you to take your time and come back so that for the last time we would be together, just like  old times."

A sense of guilt hit me hard. Why didn't I come back home sooner?

"I-I'm sorry", I said as I hold his hand tighter.

"NO, NO, it's not your fault Levi, It's not", he pulled my shoulders and bent so that we could be at the same level and said, "We  should be strong for our friend ok?"

I wiped the tears that were reaching my cheeks and nodded.

~~~

We walked  a cold walk till we reached Drey's house, cold ears, pinkish nose and mind clouded with agony.

Drey was standing outside his front door with layers of cloths and a cap to hide the changes.

The moment he saw us, his lips cracked into a smile but it didn't reach his eyes, why would it reach his eyes right? He is not happy to be dying.

With a smile on my face I walked towards him and hugged him.

My bestfriend Drey Davis, it's been a long , way too long time since I last hugged you.

"I missed you Levi", he spoke out.

Tears like river started to fall on my cheeks but I kept up the smile on my face.

Miles told me to be strong.

"I missed you too, Drey, and I love you so much", I said wiping my tears secretly.

"That is what I always wanted to hear", he whispered into my ears so that Miles will not hear him.

Drey loved me more than just a friend, more than bestfriends and because of that, things became kind of awkward between us but that time was long gone. Miles didn't know about Drey's feelings for me and Drey didn't want him to know that they liked the same girl, a promise they made when they were younger. 

So we didn't let him get the knowledge  about it, though we knew he is gonna find out someday but someday when Drey is long gone turned into soil and I'll be left to explain.

"I'm sorry Levi no, I-I didn't want to let . . "

"You don't need to explain", I smiled in pain.

"I'm sorry", he said again.

His blue eyes gazed me just like he had found a hidden gold. The only blue eyes I'd never get tired of.

"Happy birthday Levi", he smiled with tears.

I almost forgot it was my birthday, but I realized that the greatest gift in life is just being alive.

"Group hug?", Miles offered his arms and we hugged each other like the night we became bestfriends.

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