Exposure

EX:39

Chapter 39

Angie's Perspective

"The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."-Harold B. Lee

•••••••

I yelped in pain as the head of a barbie doll made contact with my big toe, the impact was crucial.

"Ouch!"

Jamal giggled handing the physically abused doll back to a little girl who had stood next to us.

"I'm sorry Ms. Angie," she apologized nervously with big growing eyes.

"It's okay Destiny just stop throwing things."

"Okay!" She dashed off running back over to where the other children were.

Jamal stood next to me laughing with a torn coloring book in his hand.

"C'mon Jamal let's go sit down, you can color with mommy."

I limped over to an empty table as Jamal trailed behind me laughing.

        The end of the school year was approaching for Jamal and he would soon be heading to the first grade. I had agreed to chaperone him and a few other kids at his school for a family field day but now I was starting to regret my decision. There were so many parents present and a bunch of rowdy toddlers as well.

I sat down handing Jamal a few action figures along with his coloring book to distract him even more.

         Distracting him had seemed to be my main goal lately. He was always asking questions about his father and me and I knew that I couldn't hide the divorce from him forever, but he was too young to know exactly what was going on with his father and me.

Jamal watched the other kids playing with one another hardly paying attention to his coloring book.

"I can't wait for Jayla to get bigger so that she can come to field day with me." His tiny voice held a hint of sadness.

       Jamal wasn't the best at making friends but he needed to learn to branch out and make new connections with other kids. It was partially my fault for sheltering him so much, but he was also shy as well.

"Baby when Jayla gets older you'll become older as well."

"So, we can still play together."

I caressed his small hand from across the table, "but you might not be into the same things as Jayla by then, maybe you can make friends with some of the kids here."

He shot down my idea instantly shaking his head, "I don't know them."

I chuckled, "that's why it's called making new friends Jamal."

He sighed picking up his crayon again ignoring me.

"You want some food and punch?" I asked as he scribbled back and forth on a page in the book.

"Yes please"

"Okay stay where I can see you," I gave him a quick smile before leaving the table.

       When I made my way over to the snack table I noticed one of Jamal's teachers watching me. I had only spoken with her a few times at different conferences discussing Jamal's behavior and grades.

       I placed a hotdog in a bun on a plate for Jamal along with some chips. We continued making eye contact with one other as I started to grow upset. There was no reason for her to be eyeballing me, if there was something that needed to be said she needed to speak up.