Exposure

EX:28

Chapter 28

Tiana's Perspective

"The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing." Yasmine Mogahed

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    TODAY had marked two weeks, a whole fourteen days since I had called it quits with Owen. After some long and hard thinking I had come to realize that when I first moved to Savannah seeking to find out more about myself and who I was as a woman, I jumped into a relationship before completing that mission entirely. Although Owen is a great man and I'll never regret any of the decisions I've made in the past involving him, I needed some time to be alone. I needed some time to find myself again as an individual, maybe that is why Owen and I bumped heads so much. My goal right now was to tackle my responsibilities and desires on my own for a while.

       I labeled the cardboard boxes and colorful bins into four different categories with a permanent black marker. Ally gave me my old room back in her house and I was more than grateful. The challenge of retrieving my things back from Owen's place was terrible, I kept contradicting myself trying to make up excuses as to why I should still stay with him. Owen's presence alone practically forced me to stay and him constantly asking did not make the situation better or the task easier. However in the end I had made the right decision to leave, we needed to work on ourselves right now.

      Living with Ally was peaceful as always, but I had left Oregon to become more independent. The idea of finding my own place had crossed my mind many times the past few weeks. Later this afternoon I was going to go apartment searching for a place closer to my school, it would strictly be a window-shopping experience until my funds were efficient. This afternoon would be the perfect opportunity to go since Ally was working a shift.

       Recently I wanted no one in my business. I didn't want Owen to know all of my moves and what I had going on and if I told the people close to me any of my intentions Owen would find out because frankly all of my friends were his friends. This is why I had been dodging Sixty's phone calls and messages. I had no desire to discuss what was going on with me and Owen, it would only make me emotional.

       I carefully placed the plastic cap back onto the black marker distancing it away from the loose fitted white romper that I was currently wearing. Organizing and straightening up my old bedroom again was taking longer than I had predicted.

After placing my last pair of shoes in the top portion of my closet I fell back on my comforter turning down the R&B music that was playing on my phone.

      A breakup was one of the hardest things in the world to get over. I had never experienced this type of pain before, there were so many stages to it, and whenever there was a dull moment in my life, Owen crossed my empty mind.

       When images of him flushed my mind sometimes I would cry desiring to be in his arms, sometimes I would become angry for several reasons that I couldn't even fathom, or sometimes I would become aroused wanting to just feel him inside of me. There were so many feelings all bundled up together making me confused and drained.

        I stared up at the ceiling in silence aimlessly trapped in my thoughts. Out of nowhere, my phone vibrated on the wooden dresser in a corner of the bedroom. I sat up reaching for it while glancing at the caller ID. A number I didn't recognize flashed across the screen.