Exposure

EX:43

Chapter 43

Faith's Perspective

"You cannot swim to new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."-William Faulkner

.......

I could feel the bed moving up and down as Monica tossed and turned in her sleep unintentionally shifting the ivory-colored sheets more and more in the process. I sat up becoming annoyed with the constant movement knowing that I would not be getting a wink of sleep for the rest of the night if she kept it up.

I turned to face her seeing that her back was towards me as she kept rocking back and forth every few seconds.

"Monica... are you awake?"

"Yes," she answered simply.

"Well can you stop rocking? I can't sleep with you doing all of that."

"I'm sorry, I'm just having a little trouble sleeping myself."

I wanted to ask her what the issue was but I was drained from work and I wanted nothing more than to get a goodnight's rest, but as a wife, it was my duty to be there for her and console her through everything.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing too problematic, I was just thinking."

She turned around in my direction lying flat on her back looking up at the ceiling.

"About?"

I laid next to her pulling her closer to me.

"About a baby again, I had another dream last night and it was perfect Faith. I just want things to work out."

"They will, we just have to be patient."

I kissed her forehead for reassurance.

"Do you think Owen will say yes?"

I sighed, "I don't know, but whatever he decides is for the best, I'm not going to keep bothering him about it. It's his decision."

"I know"

"Good, now stop tossing so that we can both get a few more hours of sleep before work in the morning."

I kissed her one last time on the cheek before turning around to my side of the bed and going to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning Monica had already left for a few patients she had lined up.

It was breaking my heart to see her so hung up on having a child. She was so nurturing and affectionate, the absolute perfect person to be a mother, but I also felt in my heart that we were going about this in the wrong way.

I felt guilty about going to one of my closest friends for a sperm sample but I was willing to do whatever to keep her happy. However, the decision was neither one of ours to make so to make things a little better, I was going to take off from work a little early and head to a cafe downtown to interview several potential sperm donors that she might want to consider.