Exposure

EX:21

Chapter 21

Faith's Perspective

"Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could've been."-Sylvester Mcnutt

•••••

       APRICOT colored leaves fell from the trees above us as we walked hand in hand along a trail in the local park. Other couples passed by holding their attire tightly fighting against the chill weather. Winter was approaching soon and I wished for nothing more than to be up under my loved one. Monica and I had been in peaceful bliss with one another ever since I had finally put my foot down when it came to my mother and her cynical ways.

         Spending quality time with her these last few weeks has made me wonder what life would be like if we had our own family. I had been a teacher for a long time now and while I thought my natural love for children would vanish it only deepened making me desire some of my own, but something told me that would not work out.

         Monica's very career-based and her work comes before almost everything in her life. Also, the idea of one day bringing our own little people into this world would be a challenge. A child having to deal with parents of the exact same gender would never be something easy to accept, especially in grade school. Although my sexual identity had never been a problem for me, the outside world didn't always see it in a positive light.

Monica tightened her grip on my hand making me glace at her.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a genuine smile.

I returned the smile, "I'm fine, just thinking."

"Want to share?"

"Not really."

My response caused her to shrug looking out at the path in front of us.

I wanted to share everything going on in my head with Monica, but the day was so perfect that the potential risk of ruining everything made me brush my thoughts off.

         Monica's coffee brown cap flew off the top of her head causing her auburn curls to spiral all over the place. I paused briefly from walking as she chased down the cap running through the trail. The cap flew with the wind making her slow down to pick it up. She turned around walking back in my direction.

"Let's go sit down, the wind is picking up a little too much for me."

I only nodded chuckling at her aggravated demeanor.

"Remind me again why we decided to go out today? We should be in the house, it's cold." Monica asked holding onto my arm.

"It was supposed to be peaceful... but I guess not."

We sat on opposite sides of the wooden bench as the wind continued to blow heavy making me grip onto my jacket tighter. I kept drifting off hardly paying attention to what Monica had to say.

"Can you please tell me what keeps grabbing your attention?" She held my wrist across the table.

I sighed, "I've wanted to ask you something for a while but you're always so busy with work and picking out new decor for the living room..."