Exposure

EX:7

Chapter 7

Ally's Perspective

"When you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond. That's where your power is."-Kaitlyn Moorhead

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I applied more pressure jiggling the keys inside the lock hoping to hear a click. Five minutes had passed and I was still outside my mother's door trying to get inside her house. As I held her mail in my right arm, I pushed the door open with force. It flew open while I ripped the key out.

"Old ass lock," I said placing the key back inside my purse.

I shut the front door after entering the house placing my mother's mail on the bar table. She was nowhere to be found but all of her lights were on. After sitting my purse on her armrest I walked down the hall meeting her halfway.

"Took you long enough to get here."

"I had things to do today. Now I told you I was gonna drop off your mail from the post office and that's it."

"Why you in such a rush Alison?" Momma asked following me back up the hall.

"Because I'm tired. I worked a long shift this morning and I have a doctor's appointment in less than thirty minutes so this right here is pushing it." I walked back into her living room grabbing my purse and phone getting ready to go.

"Alison, Alison wait can you just take a couple of minutes and talk to the woman who raised you. Damn all I ask is that you drop off my mail and you rush out of here as if I'm the last person in the world you want to see everytime." She took hold of my wrist sitting me down with her on the sofa.

"Momma I really gotta go." I pointed towards the door growing frustrated.

"You're still not listening to me Alison."

I loved my mother with everything in me, which is expected. From the day a child is born they have an instant unconditional love for their mother, a bond that was already formed in the womb. No matter what a mother does to their child the love never goes away because that's the way God made us.

Like I said, I love her, but to sit down and have a conversation with this woman was too far of a stretch for me. Me and my mother were never close and we constantly always bumped heads. As a young girl when I had issues or questions about my sexuality or transformation into womanhood I would go to my homegirls or older women in the neighborhood, never my mother. We just didn't have that type of relationship.

"Look I'm not about to be late for my appointment because you wanna sit and talk out of boredom." I stood back up heading for the door as she gasped.

"Maybe I just want to catch up with my daughter, and at least find out something going on in her life."

"Since when?!" My tone held an attitude unintentionally.

She shook her head chuckling, "you know what I'm not about to do this with you, gettin too old for this shit."

"Good because I have to go."

With that I closed her front door behind me. When I got in the driver's seat of my car Craig, my stepfather pulled up into the driveway. I waved at him from the passenger window as he got out walking over to the car. After putting on my seatbelt I let down the passenger door window allowing him to stick his head in.