Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~48~

Hurrying inside before any nosy neighbors spotted them, Shawn and Taryn took off their coats and boots and went to the kitchen where Hendrix greeted them enthusiastically.

She took the two to-go boxes out of the paper bag and held them out. "I got us an order of Buffalo chicken totchos and a reuben sandwich to split. I hope you still like those choices."

Without saying a word, he took both containers from her and set them on the table. Then he grabbed her and kissed her deeply and passionately just because he could.

"So I guess I picked well?" she said with a smile after they broke apart.

"I don't really care what we eat; I just want to spend time with you."

"Well I happen to be starving so let's start with dinner. Maybe we can watch a movie after. I need to let the dog out, first."

"I'll take care of Hen," Shawn offered as he went to the back door. "C'mere boy...time to do your business."

Taryn watched as Shawn stepped out into the cold with the dog and felt a warm comforting feeling because it was like old times.

"It's snowing," he said when they came back in, though no explanation was needed since both he and the dog were dusted with big fluffy flakes.

"Did your socks get wet?" It used to drive her nuts when he'd go outside without shoes.

He looked down at his feet. "A little." Then he peeled them off and hung them over the back of one of the chairs.

Over dinner, he told her about his night out with the guys, apologizing for the drunk texts.

"Do you drink a lot these days?" she asked. They'd been apart a long time, so it was possible he'd changed.

"No more than I used to when we were together. That's why I felt like shit all morning."

"It's weird that we don't know everything about each other anymore."

"You can ask me anything about my life, and I'll give you an honest answer," he told her between bites of his sandwich.

Something had been on her mind for a long time. "Why did you get remarried so soon after we divorced."

"It wasn't that soon, but I definitely rushed into it. The simple answer is that I was lonely and wanted to recreate what you and I had with another person. It wasn't until later that I realized that wasn't possible."

"And you wanted a baby," she stated.

"That was part of it, too. This is going to sound horrible, but I convinced myself that I loved Yasmin and that she was the one. There were signs from the start that she wasn't, though."

"But you do love her. I loved Jules, and still do since we just broke up. I don't think we should pretend that we didn't have real feelings for our other partners. It's disrespectful."

"But there's a difference between love and love," he explained. "I wanted what I felt for her to equal what I feel for you."

She nodded. "I know that situation well. It killed me that I couldn't make myself love Jules more. I'm not proud of how I handled that relationship, and it bothers me that I'm capable of hurting someone like I did to him. Now I'm hurting Yasmin by being with you. What if I'm a terrible person deep down and I'm just now realizing it?"

During her downtime at work, she kept thinking about the ramifications of their affair. Ideally, Yasmin would never find out that it started so quickly, which was why discretion was important. Taryn didn't want the young woman to get hurt more than she already was since she'd done nothing wrong.