Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~49~

Taryn woke up from her long nap and smiled when she saw Shawn softly snoring next to her. He couldn't spend the night, obviously, but at least they could grab some post-sex sleep.

Today was her day off, so he'd come over for lunch after making some excuse to his mum about doing some shopping in Toronto. He also made up dinner plans for that evening so he could be gone all day. His parents had to be suspicious, but so far they hadn't questioned him. Karen was so savvy that she wondered if she knew.

Taryn hated the lies, but it was wonderful to have so much time with him. It almost felt like before, back when they were blissfully happy. They were a little older, and both of them harbored guilt about Yasmin, but for the most part, they focused on their renewed love.

Shawn mumbled something, which made her smile even broader. She'd forgotten that he occasionally talked in his sleep, often saying the most random things. At the end of their marriage, she'd resented him for how soundly he slept while she was ravaged by nightmares. It didn't seem fair at the time, but looking back she knew it was wrong to hold it against him.

So many of their problems had stemmed from displaced anger and sadness. They were both heartbroken over losing their babies, and they turned their negativity on each other instead of sharing the grief. Amber said that this was normal, but knowing that didn't make her regret what they'd done any less. All she could do was learn from those mistakes and try to do better in the future.

"I love you," she whispered softly.

"I love you," he echoed back, his voice scratchy.

For a moment Taryn thought he was still sleeping, but when he rolled onto his side to face her, she realized he'd woken up.

"This is nice," he said with a grin. "I love opening my eyes and seeing you."

"It feels right."

"Like home." He'd said this before they first kissed three days ago, but he felt it even more now.

Her fingers traced the swallow tattoo on the back of his right hand. "Isn't that what this symbolizes? Swallows always find their way home."

He moved the same hand under the covers and placed it between her legs. "Yes."

As his fingers caressed between her silky folds, she closed her eyes and moaned. He still knew how to touch her in all the right ways. Sex with Jules had been great, there was no denying that, but it had never been as good as it was with Shawn. No one could please her like he did.

"You like when I do this?" he asked, reading her mind.

"Mmm."

Using two fingers, he rubbed slow circles on her clit, paying careful attention to her body language and sounds so that he'd know when to increase the pace and pressure. To start, he was barely touching her, not quite teasing, but just enough to drive her wild with wanting more.

Taryn whimpered as she writhed involuntarily on the bed. She wanted her release desperately, but she also needed him to be inside her. There was nothing better than the feeling of closeness when they were one.

"I love watching you come," he said as his fingers swirled faster.

She grasped his shoulder with one hand, digging her fingers into the muscles as she threw her head back. "I-I'm so close."

He slowed his fingers again, using a tried and true technique called edging. He'd bring her right to the brink of an orgasm, and then he'd ease back. The payoff was a more intense orgasm, though the process could be frustrating for her.

"Don't stop," she pleaded.

"I didn't stop," he chuckled, though he knew what she meant.

"I want to come...so that..."

"So that what?" his fingers moved even slower.

She opened her eyes and looked into his. "So that you can fuck me."

Gulping, he decided he'd edged her enough. He switched from the circular motion to short, fast, up and down strokes, and in no time she began trembling before crying out from the sweet relief.

While she was still in the throes of her orgasm, he moved on top of her and eased himself into her still-spasming walls. Home. This was definitely home. They fit together like an antique key in a lock, as if they were made for this act of love.

He pulled out of her and plunged back in, loving how each deep thrust made her gasp. Because they'd had sex before their nap, he could last longer, which meant she would inevitably come once or twice more. Considering their time was limited, he wanted to make love to her as often as possible, even if it meant they'd both be raw.

They stayed in the missionary position for some time, but eventually he wanted her to take control. He rolled off her and laid flat on his back, and of course Taryn knew what to do. Climbing on top of him, she slowly lowered herself down on his shaft until he bottomed out against her slightly tender cervix. For her, this position was much more enjoyable if she didn't just bounce up and down on his dick. It was all about using the strength of her thighs and core to milk his orgasm.

Shawn's hands gripped her hips as he tried to hold her in place while he bucked his hips upward. He loved relinquishing control to her, but he also loved have some power; being completely passive was hard for him. Taryn knew this, but that didn't mean she'd let him take over.

"Nope!" she admonished him as she pried his hands off her.

She moved his arms above his head, pinning them in place as she leaned forward. Then she gave him a long kiss before she resumed her slow deliberate movements, though the angle was completely different now, meaning she was getting rubbed in the perfect spot. She was torn between moving in a way that would deliver her own satisfaction or focusing on his. He'd undoubtedly get off either way, so she began grinding on top of him to create the most delicious friction between her legs.

He watched her with amazement. Something about how she moved showed how empowered she was, which was sexy as hell, and her confidence made him love her even more. When Taryn's eyes rolled back in her head as another orgasm reached its crescendo, he broke free of her grip and pushed his body upright so that they were face to face. He suckled her neck as she rode out the release.

His sweet lover was clearly spent, so he gently lowered her back on the bed and entered her from the side. He nibbled on her shoulder as he glided in and out of her, savoring how wet she was. Within minutes he was groaning as he came.

"We never discussed it, but I assume you're on the pill," he said a bit later as they cuddled.

"I have an IUD. It's more effective, and I don't have to think about it."

"The other day...you mentioned you regretted not exploring options like adoption or surrogacy. Do you think you ever might want to have a baby that way?"

She sat up and looked at him, her eyes showing concern. "It's way too soon to be talking about that, especially if all we can have is a long distance relationship."

"You're right. It's definitely too soon, but I was talking generally. Did you and Jules ever discuss it?"

Laying back down, she rested her head on his chest. "I told him early on I couldn't have children and that I didn't want to."

"And he accepted that?"

"Yes."

He kissed her temple. "I'm sorry I didn't."

"Let's make a pact to stop apologizing for all of our past sins and instead try to never repeat them."

"Deal."