Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~11~

"Today is going to be a good day," Taryn said out loud to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

After her most recent therapy session, she decided it was finally time to quit Shawn cold turkey. She deactivated her second Instagram account and took the box that held everything related to him to her mom's house. If it was in an attic ten miles away, she could no longer torture herself by looking at the photos and mementos.

Each morning now started with a positive affirmation, and each night she focused her thoughts on her future husband instead of her ex. When glimmers of Shawn creeped into her mind during the day, she pushed them out. This had to be done for Julian's sake.

She took the stairs down to the kitchen where she found her man sitting at the counter island drinking coffee in dark blue scrubs. He'd recently switched to day shifts at her request and was still adjusting to the change.

"Good morning," she said brightly as she gave him a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked. Jules was a deep sleeper and rarely knew when she was wide awake next to him from either insomnia or a nightmare.

"Like a rock!" This was the truth. She'd actually gone a full week without the dream, so her new course of action was working. "What's your shift today?"

"Nine to seven."

"I'll come home for a few hours so we can have dinner together."

"But that's when Ford's is busy. I can eat alone."

"Nope," She wagged a finger at him. "You switched your schedule, so it's only fair that I make some changes, too. I've got a competent manager who can handle things. I'll throw something together this morning that we can warm up later. Maybe a quiche?"

"Tres bien," he responded.

They had breakfast together, and then he went upstairs to brush his teeth while Taryn drank coffee at the kitchen table. After Jules left, she took Hendrix for a long walk around the neighborhood and then buckled him in the car before she headed to Patricia and Earl's. They were leaving on their cruise the following day and she was going to water their plants and bring in their mail. Earl was very particular about his collection of potted greenery, so a lesson in botanical care was necessary.

"Remember...only water the orchids once," he told her as they went over the house plants.

"Once a day. Got it," she gave him a thumbs up.

"No! Once total! They don't need much water. It can kill them if they get too much!"

She lightly punched him in the arm. "I know. I was just teasing,"

"Don't ever joke about Earl's orchids!" Tricia said with a hearty laugh.

They moved outside for the next set of instructions. It was late September, so unless there was a freak fall heatwave (which was certainly possible in Toronto), she only needed to water the outdoor plants twice during their two and a half week absence.

Instructions complete, Hendrix chased the yellow tennis ball that Earl threw for him while Taryn and her mom talked.

"How long are you staying in Seattle?" Taryn asked.

"Only two nights. We're excited to see Gregor since he's walking now."

Gregor was their most recent grandchild. Earl had children from his first marriage, and they'd all had babies in the last five years. It was a relief to Taryn that her mom got to be a doting grandparent.

"Give that sweet boy a kiss from his auntie and tell Mariah and Debbie that I'm looking forward to seeing them at Christmas."

"Don't remind me that we're hosting everyone this year! It's going to be crazy!"

Taryn draped an arm around her mom's shoulder. "But you love it. Having a big family is pretty great." It had been just the two of them for many years.

Tricia looked at her husband with misty eyes. "Marrying Earl opened up a whole new world to me."

Normally, Taryn would let her thoughts drift to Shawn since they'd become a couple around the same time Earl and her mom had. As soon as his handsome face popped into her mind, she replaced it with Julian's. Daydreaming about what she used to have was now off-limits.

"You'll have to take lots of photos on your whale watching excursion," Taryn said. "I'm going to live vicariously through you!"

"I upgraded my phone last week just for the better camera, so be ready to look at my vacation photos for days!"

"I can't wait! I should get going. I need to take Hen home and then I'm meeting with a contractor about upgrading the bathrooms at Ford's." She gave her mom and stepdad each a long hug before calling the dog. "C'mon big guy! We've gotta go!"

Her day was hectic but not overwhelming. Most of it was spent in her office going over spreadsheets and placing food orders for her vendors. Being a business owner wasn't particularly glamorous, but at the end of each night she felt satisfied.

"I'm running home to have dinner with Jules," she told Mina, who now managed Ford's. She'd been the head bartender for years and was the obvious choice when Taryn cut back on her own hours several years ago.

"He isn't at the hospital tonight?"

"I convinced him to stop doing night shifts with the promise that I'd cut back my late hours, too. We're trying to spend more time together."

Mina nodded thoughtfully. "It's hard when your schedules don't align. Good on you for making an effort."

When Taryn arrived home, she let Hen out to pee and then took the quiche out of the fridge. She was debating whether to reheat it in the oven or the microwave when Jules came in through the side door.

"You're here!" he said happily.

"Why are you surprised? I told you I would be."

"Yes, but on my nights off we'd often plan to eat together and something would always come up at the bar."

She walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm a new woman."

"For the record, I loved the old you."

"Old me needed to reevaluate some things. I hope you love new me just as much."

He lifted her up and placed her on the counter. "I love you. Old. New. Whatever version I'm with."

"I don't deserve you," she whispered right before his mouth found hers. Dinner was postponed an hour, though neither of them minded the delay.

As they ate the onion and cheese quiche with a tossed green salad, Taryn told him about Tricia and Earl's plans. They were doing multiple excursions whenever the small cruise ship docked.

"I've always wanted to see the Alaskan fjords," Jules commented. "My parents and I visited the ones in Norway when I was a child. It was incredible."

"Maybe we should plan a trip."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Or perhaps a honeymoon?"

"I think I want to go somewhere tropical for that. I like the idea of sitting on a beach sipping fruity drinks together."

"This is the first time you've been willing to discuss it."

"New me is full of surprises."

After dinner, she went back to Ford's for a few hours. It wasn't very busy since it was a Tuesday, but the customers who were there appeared to be having a good time.

"Did you have a nice dinner with your handsome fiancé?" Mina asked when they walked out the door together after closing.

"It was great. I might start doing it on a regular basis."

Taryn didn't have another session with Amber for ten days, but she was already looking forward to sharing how much better she was doing.