Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~84~

"Where's Shawn today?" Patricia asked. She noticed that Taryn was texting with a smile on her face, and there was only one person who could make her daughter that happy.

"Hm?" Taryn lifted her head. "Oh, he's in Berlin. He was just telling me about his night out with the band. Piper is with Yasmin in Italy so he's having quite a bit of fun."

"That's good to hear! Both of you have suffered for too long. I wish you'd live a little, also. When he suggested that you join him for a weekend, you should have said yes."

Taryn sighed. "I wanted to, but it was so last minute."

Shawn had called her a few days earlier and offhandedly said that if she was up for a getaway, it worked well with his schedule. He was so blasé about it, which she knew was because he didn't want to push, but she couldn't get a read on whether he desperately wanted to see her, or if he was just throwing the idea around. She could have pressed him to find out how he was feeling, but the idea of jetting off to Germany for just a couple days induced a mild panic attack. She'd told him no and he'd been fine with it, which was a really nice change.

"But you are considering going to California for a week, aren't you?" Tricia questioned as she tossed the salad to go with their pasta.

"Over the summer maybe."

"It's February now. Surely you can take a trip sooner. What's holding you back?"

"Nothing," Taryn said before typing a message to Shawn recommending that he get some sleep.

"I did not raise a liar. You can tell me it's none of my business, but don't outright fib to me."

She looked up at her mom. "Fine. I do have a fear of my heart getting broken again, and if I don't go all in, it's less likely to happen."

Carrying the salad bowl to the table, Patricia sat down next to her daughter. "Love is an all or nothing proposition. You can't give Shawn only part of your heart! It belongs to him and his belongs to you. If you choose to not make the effort to spend time with him, all you'll be left with are regrets."

"We've been together for less than two months. I think it's perfectly reasonable for me to want to take things slow!"

"That's baloney! You and Shawn have been together for over eleven years! Maybe you weren't physically together for some of them, but you never stopped loving each other. You can't treat this like it's a new relationship."

"He was married to another woman and they had a baby together! Did you forget that vital piece of information?" Taryn asked with obvious exasperation.

"And all the while he loved you. I'm not saying that you should pick up where you left off prior to your divorce, but you're going to have to fight to make this arrangement work. Part of that involves traveling to see him."

"I don't need this right now. I've got a good therapist who I'm seeing on Monday." She stood up. "I'm not hungry anymore. I think I'll just go up and curl up in bed and think about what a shitty girlfriend I am."

Taryn was halfway up the staircase when Tricia caught up to her. "Don't run away, sweetie. Come back and talk to me."

"What's there to talk about? Shawn and I live in different countries on opposite sides of the continent! The best case scenario is that we see each other every two to three weeks for a couple days when he doesn't have Piper. We're never going to have what we lost!"

"That's a choice."

"No, it's reality!" Taryn shouted as all her fears and concerns came bubbling to the surface.