Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~56~

"Let's begin like we always do. I'd like both of you to share one positive thing that's happened between you since our last session as well as something not so positive," Vera said once they'd gotten comfortable in her oceanfront office. "Yasmin you went first last time, so Shawn will start today."

He looked at his wife. "I really appreciate that you were so understanding when Daffy chewed up your favorite sandals. I know having a pet isn't easy, but you are obviously working at adjusting."

Yaz gave him a smile. "Thank you. I need to make sure my closet door is shut."

"Keep going, Shawn," Vera urged, knowing that the negative thing was often harder for couples.

He wrung his hands anxiously. "It was hard when you asked me if I had anything left from my marriage to Taryn. I know I have to let go of things, but it wasn't easy to delete the photos from my phone."

Early in their marriage, Yasmin had observed him looking at pictures on his phone. She hadn't been able to see what they were, but she could tell they were something he didn't want her to know about from the way he reacted when she made her presence in the room known. Shawn's face always gave him away, and the way he guiltily shoved his phone in his pocket told her a lot.

She hadn't confronted him at the time, but when she once again caught him looking wistfully at his phone screen earlier that week, she snapped. It turns out he was looking at photos of newborn Piper, but he admitted that there were pics of Taryn on his phone, which she asked him to delete. Then they talked about any other mementos he kept, and he was willing to throw out everything except his first wedding ring. That sparked a fight which they hadn't fully bounced back from.

Vera nodded. "How do you feel now that those photos are gone, Shawn? Do you miss them?"

"I'm fine. I haven't looked at them since before Christmas, if that's what you're wondering." It had been really hard to remove the photos, but he knew it was necessary for his marriage.

"That's good to know. This obviously ties to our second tenet, which is addressing why you cheated. If you kept photos and looked at them, you weren't trying to get over Taryn but were clinging to what you had. Eliminating those pictures is a very positive step. Yasmin, it's your turn."

"My positive piggybacks off what Shawn just said," Yaz started. "I'm glad that he was able to delete the images from his phone and that he's offered me access to look at it whenever I'm feeling insecure. I don't want to become the type of wife who constantly checks up on her husband, but knowing that he's being transparent helps me."

Vera tapped her pen on her clipboard a few times. "Ultimately your marriage needs to be built on trust, so the need to look at Shawn's phone should only be transitional as you heal. Our goal is for you to feel secure enough to not want to check his phone."

"I know," Yaz said as tears filled her eyes. "I'm nowhere near that trust level yet."

Shawn felt slightly ill, which often happened when therapy took this turn. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you are sorry!" Yasmin snapped, her voice surprisingly loud. "I know you're sorry! What I don't know is if you still want to fuck your first wife! I spend hours every day wondering if you lay in bed at night thinking about her or me!"

Shawn was shocked by this outburst. Yaz normally stayed so positive about the progress they were making. "I'm not going to cheat on you again. I swear on my life, I won't."

"But if you still want her, that's almost as bad!" she cried.

He tried to formulate a response that was both truthful and non-hurtful, but he couldn't.