Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~64~

Vera smiled at her clients. "Yasmin, it's your turn to start today. You know the routine."

Yaz reached out and took her husband's hand in hers before starting. "The most positive thing since our last session is that Shawn has worked really hard to make me feel valued, which led to my decision to reestablish intimacy."

"That's huge. Not all of my clients are comfortable discussing their sex lives, but I'm curious to know if this brought you closer."

Shawn looked down at the floor, dreading the inevitable. He and Yaz had fought for over an hour that morning about whether or not they'd talk about what had happened in therapy. He said he wanted to see a doctor about it, but Yasmin was convinced that it was a mental issue instead of a physical one. He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he felt okay telling Vera about how he'd failed in bed. Eventually Yaz told him he needed to set his male pride aside and do what was best for their marriage, which he couldn't really argue with.

"It definitely did, but there was a little hiccup in our plans," Yasmin said carefully.

"Oh?" Vera cocked an eyebrow.

Instead of having Yaz try to sugarcoat it, Shawn spoke up, "I, um, wasn't able to finish what we started."

"You couldn't ejaculate?"

"Yes, but there was more to it. I got, uh, soft during before I could finish," he admitted. Once it was out there, he felt a little better.

"Let me reassure you that loss of an erection during sex is fairly common. You're young and healthy, so my guess is that you were overly focused on your performance, which can trigger anxiety. In both men and women, stress can shut your libido down in seconds flat. Have you tried again?"

He nodded. "We tried the next day and the same thing happened."

"Are you able to masturbate?"

"No."

Vera went into her desk and retrieved a business card. She handed it to Shawn. "This is a urologist who I refer my patients to. He's fantastic. Just for peace of mind, you should go see him."

"You think there might be something physically wrong?" he queried.

"It's hard to say. Do you have any idea why this is happening?"

He had a pretty good idea, but he didn't want to address it in front of his wife. Unfortunately he waited a beat too long to answer and both Vera and Yaz gave him puzzled looks.

"Do you know what's causing this?" his wife ask, her voice low.

They were in therapy to get past the problems his cheating, or more specifically, his love for Taryn, had brought to their marriage. If he lied, they'd never be able to heal. This was the most difficult part of the sessions, since moving forward often meant hurting his wife.

"I'm pretty sure it's all tied to Taryn," he told her. The sadness in her eyes stung, but the silence was even worse.

"Can you please elaborate?" Vera asked. "Are you thinking about Taryn during sex?"

"I don't close my eyes and pretend I'm with my first wife. On our weekend away, I was focused on Yasmin. But then...then she wanted me to look in her eyes and they are so much like Taryn's that it made me shut down."

"Because you wish you were fucking her," Yaz muttered under her breath.

Vera held a hand up. "Don't put words in Shawn's mouth. He's being honest, and if you shift to accusations, you're punishing him for speaking his truth. Shawn, when you think of Taryn, what's the predominate feeling?"