Torn [SHAWN MENDES]

~79~

The next morning, Shawn and Taryn went down to the lobby to get drinks and breakfast which they then brought back to their room. While he held the hot drinks and white paper bag, she pressed the keycard up to the electronic pad but then quickly moved her hand away before the indicator light turned green. She turned around so that she was facing Shawn, because something had been on her mind since the night before. "You're different."

"I'm trying to be," he said quietly since Piper and Tricia were on the other side of the door.

"Why?"

"Because I've spent our whole relationship pushing you. Maybe it wasn't in a bullying way, but I definitely tried to get what I wanted. I did it when we were dating and married. We divorced because I pushed so hard to have a baby! But it's not like it stopped after we split up. Look at how I kissed you while I was married and you were with Jules. Or how I convinced you that we could be together right after Yasmin said we were divorcing last year. Or even how I wrote you a letter to try to get you back in my life. I'm working to break the pattern now."

"That's why you didn't kiss me last night?"

"Yes," he said somberly. "I'm done pushing you, especially after you told me we couldn't even be friends."

Cocking her head to the side she chewed her lip as she considered what he was saying. "I appreciate that you did that last night. You're wrong about everything else, though."

"What do you mean?"

"You have been pushy, and it's been problematic, but we've been over our marital problems before. We didn't divorce just because of what you did; I'm to blame, too. As for the times we kissed and even went further, you didn't force me to do anything. I wanted you to kiss me after I broke my ankle, and I wanted us to do everything we did last Christmas. It was completely consensual. If you'd kissed me last night, that would have been, also."

He gulped. "But you'd been drinking."

"That's why I'm glad you stopped us before anything happened. You're still a knight in shining armor who'd never take advantage of a somewhat drunk woman. That's admirable."

"I'm getting really mixed messages from you."

Taryn reached out and touched his bicep. "I'm sorry. I know I'm sending them. One minute I'm telling you we can't have contact and the next I'm hoping you'll kiss me. It's because I'm completely confused! I have no idea what to do. I know what I want, but that completely contradicts what's best for me."

He looked into her blue eyes and knew exactly what she wanted, because if there was one thing he was confident about, it was reading her signals. "You have to take the lead here," he told her. "I'm not making a move."

For several seconds they just stared at each other. Finally, Taryn glanced to the right and left to confirm they were alone in the corridor. "Put the drinks and food on the floor."

He did as instructed and placed the bag and cardboard tray which held two coffees, a tea, and one hot cocoa next to the hotel door. Then he stood upright and tried to control his rapidly beating heart.

Taryn took a step towards him. "I know I said this couldn't happen, but when I'm with you, I can't help myself. It's like I'm addicted to you, and you make me crave a fix so badly that it's like I'll die without it."

"That doesn't sound healthy," he said breathlessly.

"Right now, I don't care if it's slightly toxic. I need you, Shawn."

A small groan escaped his lips as he felt himself growing aroused even though nothing had happened yet.

Taryn moved closer to him and placed both hands on his unshaven cheeks, gently pulling his face towards hers until their lips were mere millimeters apart. "Kiss me," she commanded.