webtoon » chenle

三十八

"have you ever been in love?"

THE chewing stops and ryujin slowly looks up to jeno.

"well.. " the first thing that flashes in her head was chenle. all the memorable moments they spent together, especially the late night adventure they had. that was the best.
she swallows her food and puts down her chopsticks. "yeah. I guess I have, or more like, I am in love right now"

jeno feels his heart skip a beat. he clears his throat and sits up straight. "really?"

say it's me, say it's me, say it's me,, jeno can't help the little voice that repeats itself in his head. it felt like he had all his hope standing at the edge of a cliff, just hoping they won't jump off and commit unalive.

"who is it"

ryujin breaks into a smile looking away.

is that a sign?,,

she looks back at him, cheeks flushed a very light pink. taking deep breath, she goes back to her neutral expression. "I trust you on this so don't tell anyone okay? "

jeno nods, eyes lighting up.

"chenle"

jump

fall

thud

his hopes had been pushed off the cliff, falling into an endless pit of pain and finally landing on a bed of sharp stones.

"ah chenle" he remains the smile on his face. "you're in love with chenle"

of course. it was never meant to be him in the first place.

she nods.
jeno looks down, that smile still on his face. his cheek bones hurt, his throat is getting dry. why did he even have high hopes in the first places.
he scoops meat and rice into his mouth. the once juicy flavourful meat suddenly tasting so plain an dull, just like how he felt. even the food he ate matched his feelings.
he looks back up, forcing a warm smile.
"so, what do you like about that little dumbass" he tries to joke his pain away. "his loud scream? his smile? his dolphin laugh?"

"everything"

a pile of rocks fall on his hopes again, crushing it into little bits of pieces.

"well if you like him so much, why don't you-" the words get caught up in his throat. "confess to him" he finally forces it out

more rocks fall, his hopes squashed and shattered like glass, slowly grinded as it becomes fine dust.

"but how..."

"I don't know, just tell him your feelings. meet up with him in person and just let it all out. what happens next is all based on fate" jeno feels his throat hurt more. of course, he just blurted out how he wished he was confessed to. he doesn't know what advice to give her either, so he just said what was part of his fantasy.

in a hallway, alone with the person he likes, that likes him back. and that person just blurting out their feelings as he happily waits for them to finish and just pull them into a high embrace, finally happy he found his happiness.

"I'll think about" ryujin says with a small smile. she reaches for a piece of meat on the grill. picking it up with the chopsticks, she places the freshly cooked meat onto his bowl. "here, eat up. you should eat more-" she eats a piece of meat as well. "it looks like you've gotten skinnier. eat more" a few more slices of meat is put on his bowl. all grilled to perfection. not too burnt, not too raw.

he gives a weak smile.

the kinder you are to me.. the harder it'll be for me to accept you like someone else,,