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十二

Ryujin;
▃▃▃▃▃

TODAY was Saturday. I was chilling on my bed while haechan was on his phone texting who knows who. I was reading my story until I heard a notification ring on my phone. I closed my book at checked my phone.

Family group ❣

Mom ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆
[Photo attachment]
Look at how cute ryujin
and hyunjin were when
they were young

Dad (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
They're still cute

Mom ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆
[Photo attachment]
Remember when you
went to the aquarium
with your cousin, ryujin?

Yep, I remember mom

Mom ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆
Look at you two. So
cute!

Hyunjin 💦
She's still cute.

Dad (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
Still babies

Hyunjin 💦
We are literally almost
turning 20

Dad (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
Don't remind me
I want to pretend I
don't have to pay for
your college

I chuckled at the last response.

I looked through my old photos with hyunjin and my cousin, yeji. Somehow, it made me feel insecure. Unlike them, I have a flat nose. And my face and body are on the chubby side. In all honesty, I never liked my side profile. It makes me insecure. Looking back to all my old photos, my younger self and my weird poses which I used to think was cute and pretty, looking back, I realised how I looked like an ugly duckling next to my brother and cousin. Yeji and hyunjin are only one year older than me, but in the pictures, they look like beautiful grown teenagers but we were only 11 and 12.

In the first photo, my and hyunjin were at the beach. He was 9 and I was 8. At that time, he already looked as handsome as he is now. Meanwhile, I was in those short swimsuits which showed pretty much all my body fat.

Yes, I know, I was a child so it baby fat. But the difference between me and hyunjin makes me feel pretty ugly.

In the next picture of me and yeji at the aquarium. She was 13 and I was 12. We were posing with the fishes in those tall cylinders, swimming around in the circles. She had a simple smile pose but I had some sort of diva pose. Yeji looked simple and pretty but I looked weird and cringey.

I exited all the pictures and put down my phone. I stared right in front of me, insecurities starting to build up. Haechan noticed me staring at nothing.

"Are you okay ryujin? " He asked. I could hear the confused concern in his tone. I turned to him with a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine"

I took my phone and went to the bathroom. I tied my hair into a ponytail, a hairstyle that I always wear. Those pictures were taken years ago. A lot of my friends said I grew prettier over the years but now, I will test it.

I faced the opposite direction of the mirror, so my side was being reflected in the mirror. I took my phone and opened the camera app. Then, I took a few pictures of my side profile. One of my looking straight, the other looking up and the last one, looking down. I looked at all the picture that I took.